Chamber of Retrospection

The thinker:
Name: Alvin Koh
Date of birth: 12 December 1971
Zodiac sign: Sagittarius
Academia: B.A. (Eng. Lang. & Geog.), B.A. (Hons.) (Geog.), Adv. Dip. (B.A.).


"No matter how big an event is, no matter how bad a mistake is, they will not appear as big or as bad with the passage of time. Life goes on."

Pre-amble: I have had the occassion to talk to an old friend about this Chamber and he posed an interesting question: Did I really form these thoughts on the dates indicated?. Well, the answer is no. More accurately, I formed these thoughts quite a while ago and refined them over time. What is shown here is just a representation of those thoughts in the written form of the English language.

As and when I remember something I believe in or something I have spent some time thinking about, I will put it up on this page to share with any who cares to read. So, it is just an eclectic collection of mental processes, so to speak. Well, if you like this Chamber, do come back and check in from time to time to see what new additions I might post.

Thoughts formed on 09 September 1999

 Another tiring day at work has ended and I was reading Asiaweek and was surprised to find that some readers wrote in to comment about the use of Singlish and Standard English in Singapore. The interesting thing is that these readers are from other parts of the world.

I realised how proud I am to be Singaporean when I felt indignant upon reading criticisms by a reader about Singaporeans' command of the English Language. He said that the English would rather discuss matters with Engineers who are Indians or Philippinos rather than Singaporeans. This is because of the better English spoken by the former two nationalities. After the initial feeling of outrage, I had to agree with the observation made about the standard of English amongst our Singaporean Engineers, having many friends who are Engineers.

I think the education system in Singapore has to bear some responsibility for this sad truth. Our endless pursuit of excellence in the hard sciences and mathematics has marginalised the importance of the English Language in the school's curriculum. At least, that was the way it was when I was in school. Engineers are the lifeblood of the country.

Now, our Prime Minister has made a comment about a TV series' use of Singlish as being damaging in our effort to teach Standard English in school. Basically, Singlish should be discouraged and Standard English be encouraged.

Being an ex-English Language student in NUS, I cannot help but feel that we are going to lose something that is distinctly Singaporean, something that is part of our national identity. Singlish is a living language, used by Singaporeans to converse with Singaporeans. It is a code that is unique to us, a code that binds us together. However, it is also a code that separates us from the rest of the world. These are the unifying and separatist functions of languages.

There are arguments that Singlish should be allowed to flourish and that it has the same license to survive and grow like American English or Australian English. As much as I would like to agree with that as I love Singlish dearly, I have to say that Singlish is a luxury we cannot afford if we are to gain acceptance in the English speaking communities of the world.

Singapore is a small country dependent on the world economy for survival. We do not have the economic muscles of USA or Australia to have the rest of the world accept or even emulate our brand of the English Language.

When I was in school, we were taught that a language is a dialect with an army and a navy. Singlish is seen as a dialect of English. The army and navy backing it are so insignificant that it will never gain the status of a language.

Thoughts formed on 07 June 1999

 It's really amazing how time just slips us by. It has been more than 2 months since I last posted anything in this section.

I have also grown more accustomed to the fact that I am now a lot poorer because of some stupid things I did on the stockmarket due to greed. I used not to be able to understand fully when people say that you will learn from your mistakes and remember the pain of your falls. Now, I understand perfectly and definitely, remembering the pain will prevent me from making the same foolish mistakes again.

Life's been OK in the last few months. I have made one big change in my life and that is going back to jogging about 4 months ago. It is something I used to do back in my 4th year in NUS. I used to go jogging with a friend every week on the track without fail. I continued doing it when I re-enlisted in the SAF but stopped when I started working 3 years ago. Now, I'm back jogging 2 to 3 times a week.

Jogging has not only improved my health, it has improved my image, returning me to the days when I was younger. It has helped me put my life back together in a very healthy way. I sleep better, I eat better and I am definitely more alert. It helps me put things in perspective as what can I do when I jog but think about things in my life. For a person who has always believed in the power of the mind over brute force, this is really saying something.

I'm rather happy with how things are going with friends as well. I have been very lucky to be able to make a bunch of very good friends whom I believe will be friends for life. They are caring and concerned and are always there when I need them. They have their own lives to live but never grudge me the time to spend with me in my more melancholic moments. Life has its ups and downs and it's having good friends that evens things out for us.

Currently, I am rather happy with how my life is going. How about you?

Thoughts formed on 27 March 1999

 It's a Saturday and I am now reminiscing on the events that took place last night. I had a coffee session with two friends from my secondary school class and it was a very amiable and nostalgic two hours in Starbucks on River Valley Road. Both friends are doing well in their fields in engineering and probably would move on to something bigger in the next few years.

I remember saying how I have lost touch with most of my friends from my secondary school days. So, last night's meeting was pretty poignant for me and I enjoyed every moment of it. Friends who keep in touch are friends who should be cherished even more.

Sometimes I wonder if I have lost touch with most of my friends from secondary school because I had very little in common with most of them. I was from a triple science and double maths class (supposedly the premier class in the school) and I disliked the subjects we had to do for the two years I was in the class. I ultimately made a switch to the Arts stream at A levels even though my results could get me into Science. That was the best decision I made in my academic life.

Most of my secondary school classmates have gone on to become engineers while I have a degree in Geography. To each his own. We shouldn't be what we are not and trying to conform to societal expectations is bound to be difficult and even painful if deep down we know can't.

Society has needs and people who are able to meet those needs will be rewarded by society. People who are unable to meet those needs will not be rewarded. It is that simple. We have to realise and accept that some skills and knowledge are required by society more than others and people equipped with what is required will be better rewarded. So, what you want to do in life depends on how important these rewards are to you or do you want to do something as advocated by the Heineken ad on TV and "be true to yourself".

Of course, decisions in life are usually not as easy as we would like them to be. They are never in black and white. They are always in different shades of grey. Sometimes, the decision is taken out of our hands and even though we would like to be true to ourselves, we can't. I know that feeling too well.

After getting home, I was on the phone with three friends, all of whom are pretty new in my life. I have always been able to make friends with ease. That's the nature of a Sagittarius person. Well, there have been occasions when people I've met have been impossible. Those are the exceptions.

No matter who we are, unless we choose to be a recluse, we will meet many people in life. Some of these will become close friends, many will become friends, and most will just be acquaintances, people whom we just know. Of course, for some of us, we will meet that special one person who will take the number one place amongst all our friends. We must realise this. The inability or unwillingness to see this and to accept this will result in unrealistic demands on friends. That is unwise.

Having said so much, of course, friends, like everything else in life, will come and go and constancy is not something very common at all. To realise that things never stay the same and to be able to accept changes with equanimity will make us happier people. Nothing stays the same forever.

Thoughts formed on 16 March 1999

 Values.

Human beings are different from the lower orders of life in this world because of various reasons but all can be summed up in one word - Civilisation. Civilisation itself has various stages. For those who have played or is still playing "Age of Empires", it would be a convenient way to look at the different stages of civilisation in human society.

Civilisation not only brings with it invention of new tools and activities but new ideas and values as well. Each civilisation has its own ideas and values which are specific to its people. The physical realities of the world in which the civilisation is found condition the mind and the spirit of its people to form ideas and values about things which cannot be explained logically.

Humans, being creatures of higher intellectual ability, are afraid of the unknown. Creating explanations for what is inexplicable becomes an important part of every culture. This is probably one reason why there is a need for the religions of the world.

Each religion is a representation of the people and the culture from which it springs. Each religion is a representation of social realities and spiritual believes of a people. Religions help people make sense of the world in which they live and beyond. Religions provide solace and a refuge for their believers.

I believe that there is no one true religion in the world. Religious chauvinism is dangerous and is most definitely uncalled for in a world of diverse realities. Religious accommodation and tolerance should be the way.

Due to the importance of religions in the lives of many people, to show intolerance is to invite social discord. Unfortunately, too many countries have gone to war due to differences in religious believes, now and in the past.

I am hopeful and look forward to the day when religious chauvinism will cease to exist and people are able to accept the fact that each religion in the world today has a place on Earth. Religious believes are at the core of the pyschological make-ups of most people and attempting to discredit these believes will cause immense pain to them. Remember, "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you."

Given my above thoughts, I do believe that the values in the world can be separated into what are "Universal" and what are "Culture-specific". These are probably nothing very profound or new. However, sometimes we need to verbalise what is obvious in order to make it obvious.

Universal values are at the core of humanity. These values are accepted by almost all human beings as right and desirable. Culture-specific values find acceptance in smaller communities. These values are meaningful within certain cultures, out of which, they reduce in value or cease to be of any value.

I generally greet all religions with equanimity as long as they have the universal values which I as a human being treasure. Of course, religions will have values which are culture-specific. These values set each religion apart from each other but at the core of all world religions must exist a common strand which binds them together, the universal values of humanity. This is my firm believe.

Chauvinism is tempting as, being humans, we have egos and the need to feel good about ourselves. Sometimes, we do so at the expense of others, by squashing their "inferior" ideas and injecting them with what we feel is right. Chauvinism, as far as I am concerned, stands in the way of true understanding of the human condition and progress in achieving world peace.

Of course, being humans, we are all fallible and I myself fall into snobbery from time to time. However, that is no excuse for us to condone the existence of religious chauvinism.

Personally, I tend towards the other extreme: That of intellectual chauvinism. Sounds like a paradox? Intellectuals can be overly proud of their ability to reason through issues and become blind to other realities in society, even to the extent of dismissing the need for certain social institutions that they do not themselves require. Of course, these intellectuals miss the big picture totally and are no better than religious chauvinists. Once we exclude parts of social realities, our opinions exist in an environment of our own making and will have limited value. I have to catch myself time and time again so that I do not fall into this trap.

To remain relevant in our world today, chauvinism does not help as it elevates excessively our values and belittles others.

Thoughts formed on 13 March 1999

Optimism and relationships.

I believe in entering a relationship with both eyes open and with a huge dose of optimism. I know many friends who have entered relationships only to fail after a while. In some cases, the relationship failed after more than ten years. Now, I can't help but wonder why these failures happened.

It is true that no matter how we try to decrease the chances of failure by looking for people whom we can clique with, there is always a chance of failure because we can never understand a person fully before entering a relationship with the person. We cannot anticipate every possible event which might rock the relationship in future either.

However, when we enter into a relationship, I believe that we would have decided that there is something about that person which we like and that is the point we start from. Slowly, we would discover more of the person and we might grow to love the person more or less as our knowledge of the person grows. That is when our feelings change.

You should believe in yourself and your partner that if there should be any problems, you can resolve them together. A willingness to commit to each other and the ability to discuss issues and resolve them in an open minded manner will ensure that your relationship grows in strength.

It does not matter if there is any ability to make things better if the will does not exist. The will to make things better comes about when there is a healthy dose of optimism, a firm believe that things will work out if you try your very best to beat all odds.

However, I believe that everything should be dispensed in moderation, including optimism. A life without optimism is like a desert. A life with excessive optimism is like a mirage in a desert. Too much optimism leads to delusions, an inability to realise what is fact and an inability to accept fact. Sometimes, we just have to throw in the towel when nothing we do will make any difference.

Thoughts formed on 22 February 1999

I have always wondered if there is such a thing as an ability to love someone as much as the person is able to love you or vice versa. Is that just an ideal? I have realised that it really doesn't matter how much the other person loves you as long as the person loves you. How can we quantify love? It will be an exercise in futility.

Loving a person is about many things. It is about being able to make sacrifices for the person, sacrifices which you would not normally be able to make, not even for the best of friends. No matter how bitter the pill, no matter how painful the decision, it is worth it as long as it is for a person whom you love. Of course, it is even more worthwhile if your sacrifices are appreciated but that should be a secondary consideration, if it should be a consideration at all. What matters is that your sacrifices will make the other person happier.

However, we sometimes get blinded by love, so much so that we no longer realise what is possible and what is not. We try too hard to make things work when nothing we do will ever make a difference to the other person. This is the curse of the romantics.

It might be painful to let go but clinging onto illusions will only result in more pain in future. These illusions will become part of the fabric that is our reality. When illusions then disintegrate, the fabric that is reality will crumble and the agony will be infinitely multiplied. Sometimes, the right thing to do is to let go. Knowing when to let go and being brave enough to do it is something we must all learn to do.

Is it really true that it is better to know how it feels like to be loved than not be be loved at all despite the fact that the relationship fails in the end?

Thoughts formed on 23 January 1999

I remember reading somewhere that Oscar Wilder once said or said something to the effect that:

"An obssession with what is right and what is wrong is a sign of an arrested intelligence."

Now, I do not pretend to be a genius and I have always believed that an ability to recognise what is right and wrong is a sign of a responsible person. Of course, being obssessed with it is undesirable. There are too many grey areas in our world and in many cases, there is just no right or wrong answers, only the best answers. To recognise that might require more intelligence and perhaps that was Oscar Wilde's meaning but to practise that requires wisdom.

I have come across difficult choices before and I hate them. What is best for others might not be good for you and what is best for you might end up hurting others. What a person chooses to do in these situations cannot be said to be right or wrong as it depends on the values the person holds and the values the people around him hold.

We can only hope that our decisions in life will hurt as few people as possible.

I believe in being happy but I believe that not hurting the people around you is more important than being happy.

Thoughts formed on 22 January 1999


RADIX MALORUM EST CUPIDITAS

That's a Latin phrase I learnt back in school when I was reading Chaucer. It means "the love of money is the root of all evil". Well, I have not actually experienced the phrase in its full meaning but I have a good sense of it. Once we understand that money is not as important as we make it out to be, we will be happier, non-materialistic people. Being a product of our modern society, I know I am a person who must learn this well.

Greed is, of course, a very bad thing. However, being human, we succumb to such frailties from time to time. We can only hope that we will learn from our lessons.

It's not just money, is it? Being obsessed with anything is bad. Obsession makes us lose sight of everything else in our lives.

There cannot be only one thing in life that matters. The nature of our very complicated society makes that unnatural and unhealthy. We can lose our minds, our friends, our families and ultimately, our lives, if we are not careful.

Living a good and meaningful life is not easy, I think. For some, it might be easier than for others. It depends on what we feel is good and meaningful.

I believe that in order not to lose sight of what is our purpose in life, we must constantly assess our lives and decide what to do next. We might prefer the status quo or we might want some changes. Otherwise, we will simply be drifting. Now, that is neither good nor meaningful.

Life is very brief. I will not let obsessions waste mine away and I hope that my life will be more meaningful in the days ahead. Brave words, aren't they? I wait to see if I can carry out my words.

Thoughts formed on 17 January 1999

Most of us dislike changes. Most of us have our own comfort zone which we feel safe and secure in and it will take a lot to move us out of that zone. I know I have such a comfort zone too.

I remember someone telling me once that usually dramatic changes will take place whether we like it or not due to crises. I used to think that I will only change if I allow it and it will always be a gradual process but I now realise that the someone is right. The economic crisis has made me lost a lot of money in my investments and I have since looked at my life a bit differently, for example.

However, I have also changed gradually. I realise how I have lost my idealism and creativity which I had when I was younger. I realise how work has made me down to earth and even boring. I no longer spend as much time on the things that were once the loves of my life: Fantasy Role Playing games, reading, writing and simply chatting with good friends. This is, of course, not totally the fault of mine since my friends have all become engrossed in their own work and lives. We simply do not keep in touch anymore with the exception of a few. I guess all of us need to recover from working stress whenever we are able to not work.

Sadly, I have lost contact with all my primary school friends, most of my secondary school friends and half of my junior college friends. The bunch of people whom I keep in touch the most with are my friends from my university days. Even then, it is usually because someone in the class is getting married. Well, thank goodness for these weddings and other small mercies!

I guess we know we are growing older when we grow nostalgic. I have always been known to be a bit of an `old man' and even in my secondary school days, I was a bit too serious and mature. This is despite the fact that I look younger than my age (opinion as supplied by friends).

Now, friends will ask me why did I set up this homepage. Well, it has to do with the fact that I have more time on my hands these days. Business has been slow. It also has to do with an impulse. I just felt like setting up a homepage. My closer friends would know that I do things quite a lot on impulse, especially when shopping.


I know this is a pretty wordy homepage. Sorry but I am a bit of a techno-dinosaur and the only reason this page is up is because a friend helped me. I have always loved writing and I guess, if circumstances are not what they are, I would have become a writer and love every moment of it. Well, maybe, I can do that when I retire.


Now, old friends and new, explore my modest chambers and I hope your stay will be a pleasant one.

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