A Tribute to my very loyal friend, JESSIE

Dear friends,

I am indeed grieving at my loss of my best friend, my best sister and my best companion who had been with me for more than 14 years of my life. I was not even 9 years old when I first got her and she was only 1 month plus. I will always remember how we went to my mum's friend's house in Marine Parade and picked out the female white dog, despite my bro wanting the black male dog, who loved to sit in front of fans with the wind blowing in her face, and how my bro held her in his arms on our way home in the cab. All these years she has shown me what true friendship, loyalty and unconditional love was. These have probably made me the person I am today.

Many of you would know her, right from my primary school friends who came to my house often, or even those who heard about her from me. She was truly a gentle, loving and friendly dog who greeted all strangers with a wag of her tail without being too threatening. She was even endearing to those afraid of dogs and melted their fears away enough to dare to pat her on the head. I believe that all who met her were left with a good impression of her. Even when we had other dogs, she acted like a big sister, never fighting over food with them, giving way to them when they shared her cushion. This went on even till her old age. In my life, I have never met a bigger hearted and humble dog.

This name Jessie has become such a deep part of me that it can never ever be erased. We grew up together and shared a special relationship with each other being an important part of each other¡¦s lives. When we were both younger, she would always wait for me at my bed before I go to sleep and I would always crush paper balls (her favourite toy ^_^) for her to shred (at my father's dismay). She could really really shred paper, so much so that she even shred my room wallpaper! But she was such a simple dog, being satisfied sitting on the same sofa as we did, and not having an expensive dog toy from a pet shop. I truly admit that these 14 years with her have been really happy and looking back, if she wasn¡¦t beside me all the time, when my parents both worked the night shift, I would have felt so alone in the dark. This was a true friend who saw me from PSLE, O levels, A levels, a degree and finally finding a guy who really loves me and her as well. Every step of my life, there was always Jessie with me.

Each year as her birthday passed and she got past 10 years old, I would be paranoid and check on her when she slept, just to see if she was still breathing. For those familiar with dogs, you would know that their lifespan is 13 to 15 years. But this feisty dog really did well, she fought on till she was 14 and a half years before she drew her last breath. In this last year, she showed many signs of weakness, not being able to jump up to our beds or sofa anymore, coughing quite a little and even losing a little blood from behind. Despite all these signs, and the fact that she already couldn't see nor hear, she still behaved like a strong, young and healthy dog, always waking up when it was time to eat, showing her greedy nature by barking at us to share our food with her and even wake up at night to take walks around the house. This stubborn dog really thought she was forever young.

I never realized it until the last 4 days when she finally started to fall apart. She couldn¡¦t eat and she was too weak to walk about. Even in this time of critical health, she still appeared strong willed. Fighting to stand up but finally lying down after losing strength. Even at one moment when I thought she was really going to go, she suddenly bounced up again. At that same moment, I learnt what true courage, will power and perseverance was. Jessie was not willing to give up as yet. I tried my best to feed her with glucose using a straw and she took it bravely but she did not improve. During my last and final night with her I kept a night vigil, lying right beside her, coaxing her to lie down to rest each time I saw her try to sit up. I saw the time go pass and I saw her not improving. It already crossed my mind many times that I would lose her soon but seeing her determination I wanted to give it a try too. That morning we sent her to hospital and the vet said too that we should consider putting her to sleep but I refused to oblige, because it would be against Jessie's choice to fight on. She fought on and bravely sat up even when she was placed on drip, refusing to even lie down. The vet had diagnosed her with low blood count and a serious respiratory infection and a possible tumor in her abdomen. I was shattered of course but Jessie had taught me to be a fighter.

I returned in the evening the same day to spend time with her during the visiting hours and just hugged and kissed her, telling her how much I loved her and that I would bring her home soon. I still remember how she leaned on me and how wide her eyes were opened, as if she really was trying hard to look at me. It was as if she was ready to walk out of the cage anytime. I was so convinced she would get better so I returned home after visiting hours. That night I just felt uneasy, and told my mum we should call the hospital to check on her. At around 10.40, I just went into the toilet and hid there crying. I really didn't know why I was crying so hard but I soon realized why. The phone suddenly rang and it was the hospital, I knew it couldn't be good. Jessie had left me a few minutes ago. It was as if she had told me that she was going. I had finally lost the friend who had been my pillar of support for more than 14 years.

In her life, there have been many people who have loved her. Not just the people in my family, but also my friends, my relatives and my neighbours. I know she led a happy and long life but nonetheless, the hurt of losing her is still painful. By writing this tribute, I hope to thank all those who have made her life happy in one way or another and also, please remember this special friend of mine. There is simply no other dog like her who can take her place in my heart. Please pray for her soul, that she may find eternal joy and peace in heaven with the many dogs who are already there to welcome her. Thank you all for taking your time to read this and I really appreciate it!

Jessie girl,

I love you I love you I love you! I hope you have regained your sight and hearing so that you can be a happy bouncy dog like you were in the past. We all miss you very much, daddy, mummy, korkor, me and meimei. Especially me, because you really mean so much to me and you have really touched my life in a way no one else has. Hope you can find snowie up there, so she can show you around. One day I will be there to join you but in the meanwhile, take care of yourself. Come home to visit me often, your bed will be always left laid out for you. I really want to reach out to hug you again and tell you a million times that I love you. Each time you ran off or even the time you went missing, I got so afraid. I am just too afraid to lose you but now you have really left my side. I wish I could bring you back but I know you have a better life there now. You are the best and will always be the best. I will be the person you have taught me to be, to love others like you have loved me. I will never ever forget you Jess, I miss your smell, the sound of you walking around or you wiping your face on me.. and simply all the love you have given me so unselfishly. I feel empty without you but I will try to be happy because of the 14 years of happiness that you have shown me. I love you, I really really do. Goodbye Jess but let this goodbye not be forever. You will always have the first place in my heart.

Love, Cheh Cheh