CAN'T LET GO (A Ranma 1/2 fic by Cass and GSL) Authors' Notes aka stuff we wanna say now or we might end up being sued or flamed: We have written this story out of fun. In no way do we own the characters of this story, they belong to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan Inc, Shonen Sunday Comics, and Viz Video. This story is meant for entertainment, non-profit purposes. This story deviates from the Ranma universe after Ukyou arrived in Nerima. Some of the characters have been given mind-altering drugs by us and that's why they act out-of-character. 8-) This is generally a dark fic. Comments, criticisms and MSTs are welcome. You can reach us at chiaty@singnet.com.sg You can view this at http://web.singnet.com.sg/~chiaty/fanfics.htm We also would like to thank our pre-readers, Justin Baugh, King Chan, Jed Bidwell, Sam Vere, Arthur Edwards and Maurice Phillip. [ ] = dream sequence < > = character's thoughts { } = conversations in Chinese LIME WARNING! Part 4: Heart's Pain ------------------------- (Joketsuzoku village, 6 years ago) "{Shan Pu! Wo ai ni!}" A ten-year-old Mousse declared. They were playmates since they were born. And each passing day made his love for her stronger. This love, however was not reciprocated. He wasn't as blind as a bat then. In fact, he had perfect eyesight and could see the furthest distance in the village. His ability was not left to waste and he played an important role in the hunting expeditions. Every time, he would climb the highest tree and search for prey. And if danger loomed, he would whistle to alert the others. His family was proud of him. He was the treasured kid in the village although the Elders belittled him because of his gender. He was given preferential treatment compared to his other male friends. This led to jealousy and his peers would pick on him whenever they could. But Shampoo would come to his rescue. Back then, Shampoo was already very cute. Her martial ability was the best in her generation and she was being groomed to be the future leader of the Amazons. He was the indispensable boy of the hunting missions. His participation had saved many lives and was the reason for the huge harvests. Being the most promising boy in his time, they were considered a perfect match. He didn't understand why Shampoo rejected his advances. Day after day, he would bring her flowers and he would declare his undying love for her. And it was during one of these times that tragedy set in. "{Accept my love, Shan Pu!}" With a bunch of roses in his right hand, Mousse rushed forward to hug Shampoo. Shampoo was practicing by the river. Once alerted by Mousse's love proclamation, she sidestepped so that Mousse would miss her. "{Go away! I'm busy. Don't disturb me.}" Even then, Mousse was a very persistent child. He redoubled his efforts to glomp his purple hair goddess. This goddess was however, very annoyed. She forcefully detached him from her and booted him away. Unfortunately, he landed in the choppy waters. The river's current was too strong for the little Mousse. He tried to swim but the torrential waters was sweeping him away. Shampoo stared in horror and began to scream for help. Several adults came running by, their faces paled as they realized what happened. The adults looked desperately around for branches or sticks that they could use to save the drowning boy. Shampoo shrieked when Mousse disappeared into the waters. He finally reappeared further down the river. He was struggling frantically to keep his head above water. A man grabbed hold of a fallen branch, ran along the bank towards Mousse. Keeping a firm hold on one end of the branch, he swung it towards the boy. He missed the barely floating Mousse and tried again. And again. And again. As the rest despaired, another villager came up to the man with a rope. Throwing the branch away, he repeated his attempts with the rope. But the young boy was always swept away before he could even touch the thing. Just as everyone started to lose hope, Mousse managed to grab a rock that stuck up above the surface of the water. However, the current was still tearing at his body, trying to sweep him away, and he was in danger of losing his grip. The man taking note of the new situation, made one last great effort to swing the rope towards the choking boy. At last, Mousse caught hold of it but lost his grip on the rock. But before he could be swept further away, the man pulled back the rope, hauling Mousse towards the bank. And Mousse was saved. He ran a high fever for the next couple of days. When Mousse finally recovered, he couldn't see clearly as before. The fever had damaged part of his brain. The loss of eyesight was a great blow to him. He was the butt of jokes when he mistook objects for people. His parents were no longer proud of him, instead they were ashamed of him. He was no longer needed for the hunting missions. Being the weaker sex and no longer useful for the hunting expeditions, he received no more preferential treatment, only dirt treatment. A hero no more, he became a mere boy, a boy that was nearly blind. He hated his life. He hated everyone who laughed at him. He hated the heavens for blessing him with excellent eyesight and then taking it away from him. Most of all, he hated Shampoo, the girl he loved so dearly, being the reason of his downfall. The young boy stared at the blue skies above. On the plain, there was only him and the heavens. With a loud cry, pointing his hand at the sky, "{TO YOU, I PROMISE. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! I WILL HAVE SHAN PU! I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES. I WILL FULFILL MY PROMISE EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.}" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- (Nerima hospital, 4 a.m.) Cough. "{Help!}". It was a strangled cry, very soft in volume. Cough. "{Save...}" Mousse's face was a grimace. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. Cough. "{Me.}" His hands were raised to his neck, as if having difficulty in breathing. "{Mu Tsu, wake up. You're safe now.}" Shampoo coaxed as she gently but firmly tried to disengage his hands from his neck for fear that he would strangle himself unwittingly. Suddenly, he shot up from his bed. An acute pain in his abdomen area told him that he should lie down instead. Grunting and very slowly, he began to sink down upon his bed with Shampoo's help. With the greatest care, she lifted the sheets from the bed and set him beneath them. A very concerned Shampoo then took a piece of tissue paper and started to gently wipe his forehead. Satisfied, she turned to look him in the eyes and asked, "{are you thirsty?}" He nodded. The aftermath of the dream still affected him. The horror of nearly being drowned still accompanied him till this very day. For many nights, his unconscious self would return to the dreadful day. His brain would simulate the drowning and he would relive the terrors over and over again. The screams that he tried but only succeeded in choking more water. The hopelessness he felt as he went down and then struggled to stay above the surface of the water. The coldness of the waters that chilled him to the bone. He shivered as he felt a touch on his arm. Turning, he saw a smiling Shampoo holding a glass of water. The smile sent a gush of warmth to his heart. She never smiled for him before. Despite himself, he found himself returning the smile to her. Taking over the glass of water from Shampoo, he began to sip slowly. The brush of her hand sent a tingling feeling to his heart. This warmth feeling felt so good and it reminded him how it was to be in love. She was so gentle, why couldn't she treat him this way before? "{The doctors have already retrieved the bullet. Luckily, it did not hit anything important.}" Sitting down on a chair, she continued, "{you lost a lot of blood but with nutritious food and a lot of rest, you could be discharged by next week.}" Her voice was soft and sensuous. It was like music to his ears. Mentally, he slapped himself. Putting on a worried mask, he began his act, "{Did he hurt you? Did you see a doctor? What did the doctor say?}" For the briefest moment, the beautiful eyes that she was so accustomed to were ones of hatred. She was momentarily surprised but dismissed it. Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her, or maybe she was just too tired. Then, the old Mousse returned. She silenced him with a "{I'm fine.}" "{Are you sure? You have taken quite a number of hits.}" "{Yes, there's nothing that I can't handle,}" the Amazon in her speaking. "{But the doctors are keeping me here for a couple of days.}" He smiled at the irony of her statement. He imagined bruises all over her body. Broken bones that would take weeks to heal. The pain that she would experience in every movement she made. His smile grew wider. Then, he remembered the Plan. The smile disappeared, replaced by a frown. "{Did he ... you know...?}" "{Mu Tsu! How can you think of such things?!}" Shame was the first thing that came into her mind. Anger was the only way that she knew how to deal with the embarrassing question. "{Well, did he?}" He asked, slightly more confident. "{No.}" She was worried at first. Who knew what the intruder had done while she was unconscious? But a confirmation from the doctor set her heart at ease. He released the breath that he was holding and started breathing normally. Relief stamped on his face. She became aware that Mousse was not at his usual antics. There was no love proclamation, no flowers and no glomping. She also did not had the annoying feeling for him. But perhaps after the night's events, she would never be able to punt him to the sky. Afterall, he did take a shot to help her. And he was the only one who would talk to her now. "{Why were you at the shop?}" "{I... I missed you. I wanted to just watch you from afar. But then I saw that you were in danger, so I rushed in.}" He was staring lovingly at her now. She couldn't bring herself to meet those eyes. If she had, she would probably notice a flicker of disgust in those eyes. "{Where were you for these few days?}" "{In the woods, I was practicing.}" "{Why didn't you come back?}" He could hear the longing in her voice. She missed him. It gladdened him. The plan has worked. Desperately, he tried to keep a straight face and a lovelorn expression. "{You wanted me to stay far away from you.}" He could have won an Oscar for the performance. She looked at him with misty eyes. So touched was she that she hugged him. It was not the way that lovers hug but one that was for support. However that was enough for him, for now. And, they stayed that way for a long time. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The morning was buzzing with news. Newspapers reports and television news programmes had reported an attempted rape attempt on a Chinese waitress. They had gone in length on the rumour about the waitress's involvement in an attempted murder case. Street interviews were conducted and many said that the waitress deserved it. Reporters and television crew members had tried to interview the victim but to no avail. All they succeeded was a picture of the anguished look on her face. That picture haunted Nabiki. Not that she cared to admit it. But the guilty feeling after seeing Shampoo on television had intensified as the morning went by; she hated that feeling. The feeling was not something new. She had plenty of experiences on it. It usually went away after some time. And she silently hoped that that 'some time' would come sooner. The thought ran through her mind for what felt like the millionth time that morning. She couldn't believe that he had ordered someone to rape that Amazon hussy. Her specific instruction was to make life difficult for her, not this. Contacting Seiyu seemed like a mammoth task. For the zillionth time that she tried, all she got was a busy tone. She walked mechanically through the hospital wards. Seeing her comatose sister, she calculated, would relieve the guilt she had for Shampoo. Akane's condition had not improved and Ryouga was still painstakingly trying to make the 1000 paper cranes. She stopped believing in fairy tales ever since her mother died. Such old wives' tale should not be believed either. If this was true, then there will be no deaths in this world. Her mother would not be taken away from her at such a young age. This paper crane thing was just a marketing gimmick thought out by the paper manufacturers. Her mask was broken as she thought of her mother. Her usually cold and neutral expression turned to a sad one. BUMP! Whilst turning into a corner, she had knocked onto someone. She was set a few paces back but the other person fell to the floor. Recognizing the purple hair immediately, she hardened herself and reverted back to ol' almighty Nabiki. "Look, what we have here. It's the damsel in distress," she scorned. "Greedy girl." Muttering under her breath, Shampoo sought to get up by using the walls for support. She had lied to Mousse when she said that she was fine. Truth was she couldn't even generate the strength to hit a fly. Although she hated to appear weak but her injuries did not allow her to appear otherwise. Slowly and painfully, she got up and met Nabiki's cold stare. "It's retribution. I'm so glad that such things do exist. Don't you?" A wry smile plastered on her face, Nabiki continued to taunt the woman who had poisoned her little sister. "Ah, but you're the evildoer. Still, paying for your crimes is just too little to ask, isn't it?" She had fully enjoyed the angry scowl on Shampoo's face. "I no poison violent girl." It was an earnestly said sentence but was met with great skepticism. "Oh, is that so? Hmm, where did I hear that before?" She put on a 'thinking hard' expression to mock Shampoo. "Is truth." It was firmly said and coupled with the expression on Shampoo's face, it wavered Nabiki, for a second. "Well, I think the truth is that you enjoyed the rendezvous with whoever that was. And when Mousse appeared, you had to keep up this story so that Ranma doesn't know that you flirted with another guy." Her hand made a wide arc and the destination, Nabiki's face. To her surprise, Nabiki caught it. (Shampoo was injured and her movements were labourious, hence slow. And Nabiki didn't spend 17 years in a dojo and learned nothing.) Mustering her strength, Shampoo tore away from Nabiki's grip. Defeated, she tried to give a piece of her own mind. "No true. I nearly ... nearly ...," she couldn't bring herself to say the word. "Greedy girl, you worse than animal. I can shed blood but you no humiliate me. Man tried to... but Mousse saved me. This truth. Violent girl no poison by me. This truth also." "Don't you think this is a bit hard to swallow?" Nabiki countered, full of ridicule, although the mask she had was slowly slipping. The guilt was getting to her. She felt like she was fighting a losing battle. Nobody would believe her. Even the police had doubts to her story. Only Mousse believed her. Only if he was here with her now. She was so weary and ANGRY. "I swear on Amazon code and honour, everything I say is truth." "The problem is that you don't have honour." That was the last straw. Why should she continue to stand there and suffer the ridicules? No matter what she did or said, she couldn't get Nabiki to believe her. "If I want kill Akane, she dead long time ago." Holding Nabiki's eyes for what seemed like an eternity, she walked past the slowly disintegrating girl. Keeping her mask on until Shampoo was out of earshot, she visibly slumped. She had prided herself in her ability to read other people's mind. Shampoo's eyes showed no signs of guilt whereas she was becoming overwhelmed in it. She was in an emotional turmoil, being less confident of what she did. Suddenly, she felt that she didn't want to see anybody, not even Akane, the sole purpose she was here and the reason that justified her actions. She was almost ashamed of herself. Violently rejecting the idea, she satisfied herself with a . -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Tadaima!" Nabiki called out. Wearily, she headed towards the sanctuary of her room. She had spent the whole afternoon doing absolutely nothing, just sitting on a bench in the park and thinking. It was so unproductive. She dragged her feet across the living room, barely noticing her father playing shoji alone. As she was ascending the stairs, an apron clad Kasumi walked out of the kitchen. "Nabiki, I'll like to talk to you." As the person in question was too tired, she missed both the seriousness of Kasumi's voice and the lack of smile on Kasumi's face. "Later, oneechan," she said not bothering to look back. Kasumi's unsmiling face turned into a frown. For the whole day, she had wanted to speak to Nabiki. There were things to clarify, specifically, was Nabiki involved in the attempted rape case. Her thoughts were interrupted when Soun asked for more tea. Back in her room, Nabiki fell heavily on her bed. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to relax. For a while, a heavy silence filled the air, only to be broken by the ring of a phone. Lazily, she reached out for the phone next to her bed, "Moshi moshi." "Ms. Tendo, it's me, Seiyu." Hearing his voice, she immediately sat up, "Seiyu-san, where were you? I've been trying to reach you the whole day." Her voice was a bit harsh. "Well, I heard the news today. I was shocked. If you were wondering, I did not order that. But I wasn't sure if any of our men had participated in the extra-curricular activity." "So?" Her anger at Seiyu dissipated. "No. I've interrogated them and they denied their involvement." She sighed, relieved that she had nothing to do with the case. But, she still had some misgivings, "You believe them?" "Yes. Do you think that it's just a random attack, her being plain unlucky?" "Hmm, I don't think so. Nobody in his right mind would go against the Amazon. Shampoo is highly skilled and seeing the extent of her injuries, I say the person is out for blood." "My sentiments. The newspaper reported that it was a robbery-cum- rape case. But the Nekohanten has been closed for a couple of days, there wasn't much money in the restaurant." "Exactly...," A knock on the door brought her away from the phone. Kasumi stepped in, not bothering to wait for Nabiki's answer. "Nabiki, may we talk?" she asked. Her tone carried a note of seriousness to it, something Nabiki hadn't heard in her older sister's voice for some time. Speaking to the phone, she ended with a "we'll talk later." Putting down the receiver, she looked at Kasumi in anticipation. She was not used to this serious Kasumi. Kasumi started, "Nabiki..." Now that she had her full attention, she seemed to hesitate. Sometimes, the truth could be a scary thing. "Did you hear about what happened to Shampoo?" Nabiki arched an eyebrow, fully aware of where this conversation was heading. However, she let her sister continue as she was curious as to how Kasumi was going to approach the subject. "It was the most unfortunate thing. Even though she is the prime suspect for poisoning Akane, I wouldn't want this to happen on her." Deciding that prolonging the conversation was not to her advantage, Nabiki decided to end it swiftly. "I know what you're getting at. I wasn't responsible for it." Kasumi relaxed relatively but the frown on her face had not disappeared. "I believe you because you are my sister. And I trust that you'll not stoop to such lows. But I was so worried. What if I was wrong and that you had really done it, I don't know what will happen." "Oneechan..." Kasumi walked forward and sat on the bed beside Nabiki. Gently, she took Nabiki hands in her own and stared beseechingly into her sister's eyes. "This revenge business that you are planning, is not right. Revenge is a two-edged sword. It hurts the enemy and it also hurts the person wielding the sword. I don't want you to come to any harm." "I won't." Nabiki was slightly embarrassed with Kasumi's display of affection. She tried to pull her hand back to her own sides but Kasumi would not allow it. She seemed to grip it even tighter and her voice rose slightly in volume, "This is wrong. A high school student does not go around planning how to destroy another person." Nabiki got up from the bed, breaking free from Kasumi's grip. She replied defensively, standing to reinforce her statement. "But she tried to poison Akane. The police couldn't do anything and I had no choice but to take things in my own hands." "Nabiki..." Kasumi had a pained expression. What had her sister become? Before, Nabiki used to listen and obey her every word. Now, she suddenly felt that her sisters were all grown up. They didn't need her to give them any advice anymore. She was just the cook, the washer, the servant. Nabiki felt bad about the harsh tone of her voice. Kasumi had always been there for her, always giving and not expecting anything in return. She sat down again and gripped Kasumi's slightly shaking hands. "I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing but I'm doing what I think is right." "But what if you thought wrongly? You're going to destroy another person's life. Can you live with that?" She had promised her mother that she would look after the family. She had thought that she had done a relatively good job. But Nabiki may be making the mistake of her lifetime and she couldn't do anything to stop it. Nabiki was just as stubborn as Akane. It was probably a Tendo family trait. Staring deep into Nabiki's eyes told her that she was not totally convinced. Kasumi sighed. If only the years had not passed and she could still coax Nabiki with a sweet. Left with only a memory of the yesteryears, she tried to replicate an act that used to work. Kasumi kissed Nabiki on the cheek. It wasn't that awkward when they were still young. Kissing was an expression of love and Kasumi used to kiss her little sisters to show that she loved them. But this practice was discontinued for a long time and Nabiki was visibly surprised. "I remember that my little sister used to hug me after I kissed her." Shaken out of her reverie, Nabiki embraced Kasumi and the act warmed their hearts. "I know that you have your own thinking and all but I just really want you to know how I feel. I love you and I want the best for you. And I don't want my Nabiki-chan to do anything that she would regret." Nabiki broke away from the hug and stared at Kasumi. She was smiling at her and Nabiki returned the smile tentatively. How nice it felt to be cared for. As Nabiki was engrossed in her own feelings, Kasumi stepped away from her. It disappointed her a little. "I believe that you'll do the right thing," Kasumi said before she left the room. And it seemed to echo in Nabiki's mind. What was the right thing to do? Was it right to let Shampoo get away for what she did or was it right for her to drop all that she had planned? Left in the empty room, she felt very lonely and confused. -------------------------------------------------------------------- (3 days has passed) thought Ukyou happily as she counted the day's earnings. (If this kept up, she could afford to expand the business.) She turned to look at Ranma who was mopping the floor. she thought. "Let's have some supper, Ran-chan. We've certainly earned it," she said, trying to cheer her up. The two sat facing each other, eating their banana splits in silence. The only noises in the restaurant were sounds of metal spoons touching the plates. thought Ukyou frustratedly, not one to enjoy a quiet dinner. Ukyou fidgeted in her seat as she wondered what to say to her fiancée. But Ranma had already finished her banana split. She stood up, placed her utensils in the kitchen sink and dumped hot water onto herself, triggering the transformation. Without even a glance back at Ukyou, he muttered, "Goodnight" and started up the stairs. "Wait! Do you want to go to Jusenkyo?" shouted Ukyou. Ranma stopped and looked at her, with an interested expression. "I know how much you want to get rid of your curse and that entails a trip to Jusenkyo. Well, I've made enough money for a trip to China for both of us. What do you think?" For a moment, Ranma's eyes lit up as he thought about saying goodbye to 'Ranko' once and for all. But he couldn't bear the thought of leaving Nerima, leaving while Akane was still in hospital, comatose. "No. I have commitments here. I can't leave, not now." Ukyou's eyes darkened. She knew exactly what those 'commitments' were - one Tendo Akane. Ukyou ran up the flight of stairs, stopping one step below the step Ranma was standing on. Grabbing his hands, she pleaded, "Ran-chan, can't you see what this place is doing to you? Everything around here reminds you of her, of the fight and of Shampoo. And you're dying a little bit at a time inside because of that. Can't we leave Nerima and all its troubles behind?" "NO!" yelled Ranma as he shook his head vehemently. He couldn't leave, he would never leave. Not when Akane was still in hospital, not before he had the chance to apologize, not before he had the opportunity to tell her how he really felt about her. "All I'm saying is for us to leave and obtain a cure. It needn't be a long trip, just for a few days." She paused to catch her breath. "Staying here won't do you any good. Plus, it's not as if your presence can help Akane's condition." Ukyou instantly regretted her words. They were harsh and thoughtless but that was how she truly felt. "You need to get away for awhile. Or your guilt will consume you whole. Look at you now. You hardly train any more. And you hardly smile. All you do is mope around, wishing that things had never turned out the way they had. Where is the Ran-chan I knew? Take the trip as a training expedition, a search for your cure or a vacation, I don't care. Just go. I want my old Ran-chan back." Ukyou's eyes shimmered as though she was about to cry. "I can't," murmured Ranma as he walked up the stairs and entered the bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the small mirror on the wall. . -------------------------------------------------------------------- (The next day.) She was released from the hospital today. After bidding farewell to Mousse who would be discharged in two more days, she came to where she was now. Perched on a roof top of an opposite building, she had a bird's eye view of Ucchan's. Her target appeared again. Dressed in a skimpy waitress uniform, she rotated among the hungry customers to take and deliver orders. This was the woman that she had given the kiss of death to. And it was the exact person that she had gave her heart to. Ranma's dual sexuality did not make her love him any less. He was strong and handsome. That's all that mattered. Her heart was his from the beginning. She wasn't stupid. She knew that Ranma didn't love her and he was more inclined towards Akane. That didn't stop her. Why should it stop her? She was a warrior and in war, it was a fight to the end. Besides according to the Amazon law, he was already her husband. Getting what was rightfully hers meant that she could use unscrupulous methods. So, she tried very hard. Drugs, mind-controlling techniques, getting rid of the other fiancées was just part of the package. Practically offering herself to Ranma was a desperate attempt. She wasn't brought up that way. She was taught to lord over man. But if flaunting her assets would give her an edge, she would do it. The problem was that the harder she tried, the more she failed. If only she had learnt from her own experience with Mousse, then maybe it would be a different story. Love could not be forced, if you tried to do it, you would just push the person further away. Now, her future with Ranma looked bleak. The only emotion that he had for her was hatred. But her heart still longed for him despite the verbal abuse and physical attacks. In the week that she was hospitalized, she had missed him terribly. Mousse was always there for her but he just couldn't replace Ranma's place in her heart. Sometimes, she just wished that the person she had fallen for was Mousse. Her instincts announced but it was too late. A stone had hit her, throwing her off-balance. Having just recovered from her injuries, her motions were still slow and she landed poorly. Ouch! She had sprained her ankle. Wincing slightly, she turned to her attacker. "What are you doing here?" The voice was cold and unfeeling. "Are you trying to hurt someone else again?!" It was more of an accusation than a question. Hurt, she looked pleadingly towards him, actually her at the moment. How could she make Ranma believe her? All she managed out was "Ai-ren..." "Don't call me that!" Ranma-chan roared. She took a step closer to Shampoo, faces inches away. Directing all her anger through her eyes and in a voice that was low and menacing, "I know you will never give up. But I tell you now, you will never have a chance with me. From the start, I never loved you and to the end, all I have for you is hatred." Her heart shuddered. The closeness to her loved one had not gladdened her as she used to be. This Ranma could and would kill her if she wanted. And she feared her. "Ranma, listen me." Seeing that the 'civilized' approach did not work, Ranma's anger flared. She took a few steps away from her, detesting their physical closeness. "No! I'm sick and tired of what you are going to say. I don't want to hear your voice. I don't want to see your face. Go back to the Joketsuzoku hell where you come from!" Tears glimmered in the corner of her eyes. Suddenly, she became aware that all eyes were on her. The lunch crowd at Ucchan's was watching the confrontation with interest. Some of them she recognized as her regular customers, were giving her looks full of detest. In a far corner, she could see Ukyou who was smirking. Ranma had turned her back on her. Staring at it, Shampoo couldn't help but feel helpless and hopeless. In a voice that was so soft that only Ranma could hear, she tried the last time, "I can't go back without you." Ranma swirled and faced Shampoo again. "Then. Go. And. Die." She spat out every word, paying special attention to the diction of the words, signifying how serious she was. At that moment, Shampoo did die. Her heart died as her last hope was totally squashed. Emotionally, she was naught. Her only desire was to run, to run away from the place where the-Amazon-chasing-after-Ranma died. Her legs although hurting from the sprained ankle obeyed, carrying her away from the unflinching Ranma. What was left was a trail of tears and many painful memories. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Night has fallen. There was no moon tonight, no stars, nothing. The sky was pitch black. And it mirrored her feelings. Wandering along the streets, she refused to return to the Nekohanten. What's the point of going back when only four walls and more loneliness greeted you? Ignoring the stares that she had been receiving, she continued walking and limping until she could hardly do so. Her ankle had swollen considerably. The pain was intense but it didn't matter. She had stopped crying a long time ago. She was done with it. There were no more tears, only emptiness. Just like a walking corpse, she could feel nothing, no sorrows, no injustice, no pain. Sitting on the grass in a park, she stared straight ahead. Not looking at anything in particular, just zoning into space. She didn't know how long she had stayed that way nor did she care. Thoughts of death entered her mind again. There was no point in living. She had no reason to stay alive. The decision was made easily. With a goal in mind, she smiled finally. She remembered hearing a story. It was about a man who travelled miles to return to his hometown to die. The reasoning was that he was born there, and spent most of his life there too. It was the place where he has most connections to. A place where most of his memories lie. The only place where his heart could truly find peace. There was really no place like home. Joketsuzoku seemed so far away to her, so forbidden. She did the next best thing; she returned to the Nekohanten. She changed into her best outfit, going as far as putting on make-up. She decided that if she wanted to die, she would go in the prettiest state. Taking out a piece of paper and a pen, she wanted to write down her last words. But for a while, nothing came to her mind. And she left it as that. Moving away from the dressing table, she proceeded to her bed. Sitting down, she took out a knife, examining it. It had a sharp edge, meaning a swift cut which would result in little pain. Hovering the knife over her left wrist, she was about to cut herself when she heard a yell. "{STOP!}" It was Mousse's voice. He had run away from the hospital after receiving news of the spectacle in Ucchan's. The doctors had said that Shampoo was suffering from pangs of depression. And there was a high possibility that she might seek the easy way out, which he wasn't going to let it happen. He searched everywhere for her, starting from the Nekohanten to her usual haunts, back to the Nekohanten then to every corner in Nerima. It was his third time back to the cat café that he finally found her. "{Mu Tsu,}" she muttered softly. Realizing that he was here to stop her, she tried to end it quickly. But before the sharp object could touch her skin, it was sent flying away. Mousse grabbed her shoulders and swung her to face him. Holding her at arm's length and literally shouting at her face, "{I saved your life from the rapist. Your life belongs to me now. You want to die, ask for permission.}" His outburst did nothing to waver her need for eternal rest. It only served to bring out her tears. "{Mu Tsu, let me die. I have nothing to live for.}" "{No! I will not allow it,}" he howled. He was burning with desire to end it right here, but that would be fulfilling her wish. Looking away from her, he sought to stay calm. Taking a moment, the logical part of his brain went on an overdrive. When he faced her again, his demeanour was restored, "{I love you. You are my everything. In my whole life, I've followed you everywhere you went. If you want to kill yourself, kill me first.}" She continued sobbing. His tenderness returned as he tried to dissuade her, "I know you are very depressed now. But suicide is not a solution. You'll just bring pain to the people who cares for you.}" "{There's no one. Even if there is, I don't care if they are sad or not. I am so unhappy. Death is my only consolation,}" the tear- shrieked Shampoo continued. He panicked, his tormentor should not go unpunished. "{Shan Pu, I for one, would be very sad, no, devastated. Please, let me help you. I will make you happy again. I will make it a goal in my life to bring you happiness. I'll shelter you from all your sorrows and woes. Let me take care of you?}" He repeated the lines convincingly, not meaning any word he said, except for the devastated part. He would be devastated to let her go just like that. Racking his brains, he sought for the answer to this whole mess. Only one thing came to his mind. It was a desperate act. If it didn't work, all his hard work would go to waste. It was true that he could still have his pleasure to give her a slow and painful death but he would prefer to attain her heart first. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. "{Don't leave me.}" He said as he put on his lovelorn expression. Then, he proceeded to press his lips firmly against hers, savouring her taste. His hands went around her, bringing her closer to him until there was no distance between them. She struggled. Her hands pushed at his chest. But he did not budge. Instead, he responded by crushing her with his hug and deepening the kiss. The kiss was not all unenjoyable. She could feel the desperateness of his attempt, the emotion in the kiss. It felt good to be loved and desired when everyone else condemned you. In a time when she was most alone, he was there for her. It would be a lie to say that she was not touched by his affection. After the rape attempt, he showed himself to be a true man, risking his life to save her dignity. Her heart softened especially when he had taken a bullet shot. She began to look at him at a totally new angle, without any prejudice. During the stay in hospital, she found that she enjoyed his company and somehow, her feelings for him grew. Although the feelings were not as intense as to Ranma, they were there nevertheless but hidden by denial and stubbornness. This kiss brought out those feelings and she realized that she could love him. As the kiss progressed, she became absorbed in it too. Maybe she was finally touched by Mousse's love, maybe she desperately needed someone, maybe she felt that it was less painful to love someone who loves you more, or maybe it was a mixture of three for finally, she relented, kissing him back. -------------------------------------------------------------------- (Monday morning, in Akane's hospital room) "Good morning, Ryouga. I've brought you some breakfast," said Kasumi cheerfully as she placed his food on the table. Then she leaned down and kissed Akane's cheek, murmuring, "It's a beautiful day, little sister, please wake up." She stared hopefully at the coma patient, wishing that a miracle would happen, the same wish she had made everyday for a whole month now. When she straightened up moments later, her cheerful mask was back on. "Do you need me to string any more paper cranes, Ryouga?" she asked sweetly. Ryouga was just about to reply when a middle-aged nurse came in. The nurse smiled at the two and drew the curtains surrounding Akane's bed, effectively shielding her and Akane from sight. Every morning, she came in to check on Akane's condition, clean her with a damp towel and change her hospital gown. Then it was off to do the same for the other comatose patients in the same ward. So it was a shock for Ryouga and Kasumi when the nurse suddenly dashed out, leaving her equipment behind and calling for the doctor. The two teenagers leapt up from their seats, suddenly very afraid for Akane. Soon, a doctor and several nurses came in and closed the curtains, once again shutting Ryouga and Kasumi out. All Ryouga and Kasumi could do were to wait and pray. Half an hour later, the doctor emerged, with a smile. "Good news. Miss Tendo has awakened." The rest of his speech was muffled by Ryouga's joyful shouts. Kasumi sat down on a chair and cried tears of relief. Finally, her sister was going to be alright. The doctor sighed, this always happened when a patient woke up or died. He had seen it so many times that he could predict who would cry and who would be like a crazed animal, yelling and jumping up and down. "Please calm down," he begged the two. "Although Miss Tendo has awakened, we need to run some tests to see if she has not been affected by her long period in a comatose state. She does not seem to be suffering from amnesia but her muscles are likely to be stiff. That can be treated with physiotherapy. But we will not know for certain until more tests are done. That will take quite some time so I advise the both of you return home and come back tomorrow." Kasumi nodded, still crying. She couldn't wait to tell her father and sister the good news. Ryouga asked if they could see her now but the request was gently denied. He was a little disappointed but so long as Akane was going to be okay, he would not mind waiting another day to see her. As the two headed out of the hospital, Ryouga happily commented, "The paper crane idea is really effective. We've only made over 980 cranes when Akane woke up." ------------------------------------------------------------------- It was noon when Kasumi left the house. She wanted to wait for Nabiki to come home so that she could tell her the news. However, she remembered someone who needed that bit of news more than anyone else. "Wow!" exclaimed Kasumi as Ucchan's came into view. A long queue had gathered outside the restaurant and inside was even more packed. People squeezing together in tables meant for only four diners each, others were standing up and eating their meals near the bar. She spotted Ranma, in a waitress uniform, busy taking down orders and serving dishes. wondered Kasumi. She squeezed past the queue, politely informing the angry crowd that she wasn't there to eat and entered the restaurant. She waved at Ranma to get her attention. When Ranma walked over, Kasumi immediately told her about Akane waking up, carefully editing out the fact that Ryouga had been there at the time. "Why don't you visit her? The doctor said that we could see her tomorrow. She is in Ward 65 Room 12. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you." That was all Ukyou could overhear for a customer had started talking to her. For the rest of the day, Ranma seemed more preoccupied than usual. Ukyou thought that Ranma would be overjoyed at the news but he seemed even more troubled. she thought as she flipped a shrimp okonomiyaki. When the restaurant closed for the night, Ranma finished his chores and immediately went to his room, not once talking to Ukyou. Ranma sat on his tiny bed, knowing he wouldn't be able to catch forty winks tonight. When Kasumi told him that Akane was awake, it was as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was so relieved that he felt an impulse to hug dear, sweet Kasumi. She was finally awake! Even now, he felt like celebrating. He would go down to visit her, first thing tomorrow. And tell her how much he missed her, how much he loved her. But what if Akane didn't forgive him? What if she actually liked Ryouga more and that was why she pushed Ryouga out of the way during the fight? Could he handle the knowledge or would he fly into a rage born out of jealousy and hurt an innocent again? He shook his head, trying to cast those thoughts away. Hadn't he spend the day worrying about this and more? Must he waste his night away too? Ranma sighed as he changed into his pajamas. He knew there was a reason why he didn't spend much time pondering before - it gave him a headache. Still, a thought came unbidden to his mind. Ranma laid back onto the bed and brooded the night away. When morning came, Ukyou came down the stairs and found Ranma sitting on a bar stool, drinking green tea. All the chairs and tables were wiped and ready for the day's customers. She smiled at him, relief clearly showing on her face. She too had lost sleep, thinking that Ranma would leave her again. That he would pack up his bags and move back to the Tendos' to be with Akane. , thought Ukyou as she hummed a happy tune. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Akane slowly opened her eyes. Her whole body felt stiff and weak. She tried to shift her body to a more comfortable position but couldn't. Then she remembered what her doctor had said yesterday. All of a sudden, she noticed something and her eyes grew wide. Paper cranes! Strings of colourful paper cranes of all sizes hanging down from the ceiling, swaying gently. she thought, entranced by the sight. "Hey everyone, she's awake!" shouted a voice. Suddenly her vision was filled with the happy faces of her father, Kasumi, Nabiki and Ryouga. She tried to say hello but a hoarse whisper came out. After a sip of water, she managed to talk for awhile before falling asleep once more. Soun started crying hysterically, saying, "My little Akane! Someone help! Don't let her go into a coma again." Kasumi hugged him and tried to calm him down. "Don't worry, father. She's just asleep." "Well, I've got things to attend to. Bye," uttered Nabiki. She had almost made it to the door when a tear fell. She wiped it away before anyone noticed. She didn't like to waste time crying and getting her eyes all puffy. She had better things to do. What about Ryouga, you might ask? Well, he was in a daze after Akane said hello to him. He didn't even notice she had fallen asleep. In his mind, they were riding on top of a huge crane. It deposited them in front of a cave. There he learnt martial arts from the wise old crane while Akane picked flowers and herbs, looking especially cute. ------------------------------------------------------------------- After the lunch crowd madness had died down, Ranma shouted, "We've run out of tea. I'll go buy some" and left in a hurry. Ukyou ran to the door, wanting to tell Ranma that there were two tins of tea leaves in the storeroom, when she noticed the direction he was heading. Not towards the supermarket but the hospital. She gazed in his direction for a long time after he had disappeared from her line of sight. ------------------------------------------------------------------- He stood outside Room 12, his hand grasping the doorknob. He wanted to rush inside and make sure that Akane was truly alright. To find out if her injuries were healed. He wanted to tell Akane how guilty he felt for injuring her. To ask for her forgiveness. He wanted to confess to how much he missed her. He wanted to... In his mind's eyes, he could see Akane lying on the bed, with small tubes inserted to her veins. Her head wrapped in bandages. He saw himself, begging Akane to wake up. Shaking her body violently. His tears flowing down and dripping onto Akane's hand. But there was no response. None at all. Ranma released the doorknob, and slipped his hand into his trouser pocket. Still facing the closed door, he whispered, "Kasumi thinks that you will forgive me." The scene in which his ki blasts hit Akane and she fell to the ground, her blood flowing to the ground, replayed in his head, like a stupid commercial that kept on repeating. "But that is not the problem. The problem is I can't forgive myself. I am too ashamed to see you..." He blinked away tears and balled his hands into fists. "I'm going on a training trip for awhile, to try and find peace." He paused. The urge to rush in and assure himself that Akane was alright, had increased. "I'm not saying goodbye, Akane. More like, see you later. I'll come back, I promise." A pause as he thought about what to say next. But he couldn't think of any. "See you later, Akane," uttered Ranma as he tucked both hands into his pockets and walked away. He grabbed a cup of cold water from the dispenser and splashed the water on his face, triggering his transformation. Only then, did he let himself cry. Inside the room, Akane woke up from a dream, in tears. She couldn't remember what it was about, just that she had lost something very precious. And that melancholic feeling continued throughout the rest of the day. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Back at Ucchan's, the front door was shut, causing many hungry patrons to seek food elsewhere. Sitting in the back booth, Ukyou stuffed herself with vanilla ice-cream, wondering if she should be magnanimous and visit Akane. The sound of a key turning the lock made her look up. It was Ranma in her girl form, looking like she had just cried. "You came back!" she shouted happily. a voice inside her whispered. Ukyou firmly told that voice to quit yapping. "I've thought it over. I want to go to Jusenkyo. After that, I'm going to be training. I've neglected martial arts for too long." He smiled but that smile didn't reach his eyes. "Sure! We'll leave after I made the necessary arrangements." She beamed at him but he didn't notice. A frown creased her forehead as she focused on the task at hand. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Happy. That was how she felt ever since Akane woke up. Even a million yen couldn't give her what she had now. To see Akane awaken from the dreaded coma, to hear her voice again was like a miracle. Perhaps Kami-sama had taken pity on the family. Or perhaps he had been moved by Ryouga's sincerity. He had given Akane back to them and Nabiki was sincerely thankful. The near loss of Akane had made her treasure her little sister more. She didn't show it outrightly like Kasumi or Soun. They were practically crushing Akane's bones from the hugs and flooding the hospital room. She was more subtle. Visiting Akane whenever she could was her expression of love. They were never that close and it showed during the visits. Talking was like a major chore, as both didn't know what to say. Akane would have known the home and school events from Kasumi and her friends respectively. But apart from these, Nabiki was really at a loss of what to say. However, she couldn't stay away for long. She had a ludicrous feeling that once she turned around, Akane would be gone again. Despite the embarrassing silence, she was contented to just keep her within her sight. And she knew that Akane felt the same too. "Oneechan, you are here again." Akane said as she sat up on the hospital bed. "Yeah, I was around the area." Relieving the basket of fruits on the nearby table, Nabiki proceeded to sit on a chair by the bed. "You're always around the area." Giggled Akane. "Why? Do you hate my visits?" Nabiki said, taking an angry stance. Akane shook her head profusely. And the sisters laughed to their childish behaviour. "So, where is Ryouga? I expect him to be here," Nabiki started. "Kasumi took him to the canteen downstairs. Guess he was still hungry after eating lunch." "Wow, looks like he has a big appetite like Ranma." The statement earned her a frown on Akane's face. And she berated herself for it. Yet, she couldn't help noticing how much Akane was missing Ranma. "Thinking of him?" "Why would I want to think about Ranma?" Her defensive tone grew softer as she continued. It was said with sadness and regrets. "He isn't my fiancée anymore." "I never mentioned Ranma." "Oneechan!" Nabiki laughed at her blushing and slightly angry sister. As the laughter subsided, silence welcomed them. Akane seemed thoughtful. Probably thinking of her ex-fiancée, Nabiki thought. Personally, she had taken Ranma to be her brother-in-law. It was so obvious that the two were in love with each other. But the new turn of events might just destroy their relationship. And Ryouga had been so concerned and nice to Akane. Making the countless paper cranes was no mean feat, and the normally cold and heartless Nabiki was touched by his devotion to Akane. "Ahem." Nabiki and Akane turned to the owner of the voice. In the doorway stood a man, it was Seiyu. "Gomen nasai," Turning to Nabiki, "Ms. Tendo, I've made some important discoveries. You should hear this." "Okay." Nabiki replied and turned back to her sister. "I'll visit you later." With a smile and a pat on her shoulder, she left the room. It was a park next to the hospital that they decided to have this conversation. There were not many people here, hence privacy. "We found something. My contact from the immigration department was initially surprised at the ease which the Amazons got their permits to stay in Japan. He worked on that and now he had gathered incriminating evidence that Cologne had bribed officers. If we present this to the police, Shampoo and Mousse would be asked to leave the country." Seeing no response from Nabiki, he continued, "So what do you think about it? Once I have your word, we could sent them packing in no time." Again, his client was silent. She wasn't looking at him but was staring right ahead. He followed her gaze and saw a nice looking woman. Anger rose at the thought. "Ms. Tendo?" He was slightly bewildered. She looked agitated, not the way he imagined her to be. The reason for his employment was to send the Amazons home and now that they had a chance, why was his client hesitating? "Gomen. I...," she caught the displeased look that Kasumi had directed to her. That was the most thought provoking sentence that she had heard. What was right? Struggling with her feelings, time elapsed. He was waiting patiently. That didn't relieve her confusion. She felt two pairs of eyes on her, expecting something from her. Her turmoil intensified. This was her chance to get back at Shampoo. An opportunity not to be passed. The final step to her revenge. But somehow she found herself resisting the idea. Possibly it was the way Kasumi was staring at her now or, possibly she wasn't that certain of the guiltiness on Shampoo's part. "No." "Huh?" It was a huge relief after she made the decision. For weeks, her heart had not felt this calm and peace. This, she took it as a sign that it was the correct decision. "Gomen, Seiyu-san. Close the operation. I'll pay you the full amount." "Are you sure?" "Hai." She had not failed Kasumi and she did not intend to start. Akane was on her way to recovery. Whether or not did Shampoo commit the atrocious crime did not matter anymore. She had suffered a lot based on the previous encounter. And Nabiki had a part in it. "Okay," he was slightly disappointed. He would like to see the whole thing through. It was a form of closure. Still, he respected her decision. "I hope that we'll meet again." He brought his hand forward in a handshake position, which Nabiki responded promptly. "Thanks a lot, Seiyu-san." He gave a smile to her and left. Nabiki walked towards her elder sister, a smile on her face. "Were you following me?" She asked playfully. "No, I was on my way home after visiting Akane and I saw you with that nice gentleman. So I waited, thinking that you would want a company home." Kasumi lied. Well, she couldn't say that she was worried that Nabiki would sink deeper into the revenge business. It was one of the rare moments but she seemed to be doing a good job at it. Nabiki was suspicious but let it pass. This was her beloved sister afterall. In the good mood that she was in, she may even forgive any debts. "Then, let's go." Kasumi was dragged along with Nabiki. Out of the blue, Nabiki blurted out a sentence. "I've dropped everything." Kasumi smiled knowingly. It was not her everything-is-alright smile but one that originated deep in her heart. Letting go was not easy but Nabiki had succeeded. Her sister was truly grown up now. -------------------------------------------------------------------- [A fifteen-year-old Ukyou was sleeping. She sprawled on her single bed, a smile on her lips. Dreaming of dreams that was not too far from the reality. A sigh broke the silence of the night. Then, a moan and a whisper, "I love you too, Ami-chan." The door to her room cracked open. It made a small creaking sound but the occupant was too absorbed in dreamland. A man tiptoed his way to her bed. She was having a dream about her lover. The dream was what hot- blooded teenagers guided by their hormones would have. They were making out. In the midst of shifting and turning on her bed, her blanket has long been kicked to the ground. Her T-shirt no longer clothed her properly and a generous amount of her flesh was shown. Wearing a pair of shorts, the breath-taking sight of her smooth long legs was also not concealed. Seeing the young girl's compromising position did not leave him unaffected. He was a man, a man intent on satisfying his hormones. He was breathing heavily now and his heart sped up involuntarily. Taking a step closer to the sleeping beauty, he attempted more than just kissing her. Unlike the prince of the fairy tale, he had no intention of waking her up until he was done. Suddenly she felt very cold, unaware that she was being undressed. But her sunshine was right in front of her. Still in her dream, the lovers necked. Her skin felt cold to the touch and it stimulated him even more. Watching in fascination, he marvelled at his work. He had seen her naked before but that was a long time ago. The whores he had been with were nothing compared to the shapely body in front of him. Flushed with excitement, he began. Ukyou was still far away, in a place that only consisted of the two young lovers. Whilst enjoying the necking, she felt a tingling sensation on her breast. For a while, she thought nothing of it. It was just her body reacting to Ami's ministrations. But later, the moisture on her breast told her something was wrong. Slowly coming out of her slumber, she finally registered a heavy weight on top of her. And it dawned on her that the person was doing unspeakable things to her. Screaming, she tried to push the person off. Thrown out of his bliss, he was truly pissed. Grabbing her hands, he forced and kept them above her head. The close proximity allowed her to finally see the person. "Father, please let me go." She pleaded and struggled, moving her legs, arms and body to shove him away. His right hand moved away, leaving his left hand alone in imprisoning her hands. He made a wide swing and with the greatest force, slapped her. "BITCH!" Ignoring the burning sting on her cheek and the tears that flowed uncontrollably, she continued her efforts against him. "Stop! Please stop. I promise to be a good girl. I make lots and lots of money. I give you all my money. Stop, please." Her pleading fell to death ears. But her squirming excited him even more. Now that he had seen her body and felt it beneath him, there was no turning back for him. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn't care if the girl was his own flesh and blood. He didn't care if what he was doing was unlawful or immoral. He needed to get inside her. He loosened his belt with his free hand and proceeded to use it to tie both her hands together to the bedpost. It was done in a jiffy. She begged him again. "Father, I'm your daughter. Please. I remember when I was young, you used to protect me and take care of me. This is not you. You would never harm me. Let me go and we'll treat nothing has happened." "Shut up!" He shouted, he was beyond reasoning, that was what a couple of booze would do. He ran his hands around her body, exploring it, lingering at some parts. He could hardly contain himself. Hastily, he stripped himself. Looking into her fear-filled eyes, he attempted to sooth her nerves, "Why give yourself to the other ungrateful males? You know, they're going to use you and throw you away once they have their fun. Since you got something good, you should share it with your father." "NO! Father, Don't..." That earned her more slaps but she was nowhere near freeing herself. Her arms were tied and no matter how hard she tried, she could not break out of it. She also did not have any leverage against him. She panicked when he repositioned himself at her entrance. "Don't worry, you'd enjoy it." It was the voice of a man whom she once loved but grew to hate. A simple sentence it was and it doomed her to hell. What happened next was a stain that she could never rub away, a nail to the coffin that sealed her happiness forever away from her. She was dirty now.] Ukyou twisted and turned, instinctively pulling the blanket closer and moaned softly. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she recoiled back instinctively, trying to get away from her father's grasp. But now two hands were on her shoulders, shaking her. Blinking as she awoke, she found an air stewardess peering at her concernedly. "Are you okay?" asked the stewardess. Ukyou wrapped the blanket even tighter around her body as she was still shaken up by the nightmare. She nodded and replied, "Yeah. It's just a nightmare. Sorry to bother you." She managed a smile and wiped off her tears with the back of her hand. "Well, we have an hour before arriving in China. Would you like a drink to calm your nerves?" "Okay. Iced water, please." She smiled at all the other curious passengers and they went back to what they were doing before. Sipping her drink, Ukyou turned to look at Ranma, who was sound asleep in the next seat. End of Part 4