MAYBE THIS TIME --------------- FANFIC BY CASS C&C are most welcome. Send them to chiaty@singnet.com.sg Http://web.singnet.com.sg/~chiaty Flames will be used to warm up my freezing toes. ALERT! This is a Ranma/Ryouga pairing, enuff’ said. ********** "Hmm, Teppanyaki or Big Mac?" pondered the black-haired boy aloud, uncaring of the other pedestrians' stares. "I can get five pieces of sushi for free with Teppanyaki set lunch. But the Big Mac meal is cheaper." It was during times like these that he _almost_ wished the whole fiancée debacle wasn't over, just so that he could enjoy free meals at the Nekohanten and at Ucchans. Lost in the debate over his choices, he almost missed a familiar boy strolling along with a lost, bewildered expression, clutching his worn backpack in one hand. "Ryouga!" The boy turned back and Ranma silently took in the nicer clothes and the neat haircut. Still, the eternally lost boy had a certain air of wilderness in him that could not be masked by a wardrobe change. "Ranma," acknowledged Ryouga as he glanced at the nearby shops. "These buildings are new?" "Yeah. Finished about a month ago." thought Ranma. A few months ago, he would have made jokes about Ryouga's sense of direction but what came out was a mild question. "So how's Akari?" he asked, following a hunch. True to form, Ryouga blushed. "She's ok. I'm heading back to my old house, so I thought I'll drop by and see how's everyone." Ranma nodded. "Wanna spar?" His cocky grin conveyed what he knew the outcome would be. A slight smile graced his lips as Ryouga adopted a typical martial arts stance. "Sure, somebody has to kick your ass." A fist aiming at Ryouga's chin was the other boy's answer. ********** As the day stretched, their friendship had returned. Or maybe it had never been lost, merely hidden behind the petty anger, jealousy and pride. But as they matured, they were given the second chance to form the friendship that he thought was possible the first time he had laid eyes on Hibiki Ryouga on the day of the curry bread incident. Humming a cheery tune, Ranma leapt to the rooftops, heading for the Tendo dojo for their second match of the day, knowing instinctively that Ryouga was right behind. ********** Both boys stretched out on the rooftop, admiring the night sky lit up by a sprinkling of stars. Neither spoke, content to just bask in the view and in each other's presence for the moment. But Ranma was never the silent, contemplative type and within a few minutes, this silence soon became awkward. He loudly expelled the breath he was holding and turned towards his companion. "So what happened after you left Nerima the last time?" The lost boy didn't reply and Ranma cursed his insensitivity. Before he could change the subject, Ryouga commented, with a bemused expression, "Still have a fondness for putting your feet in your mouth, eh Ranma? I thought Akane's mallet would have cured you of that already." "Hey!" the blue-eyed boy blurted out in protest. "I thought I heard my name. Was the pervert badmouthing me, Ryouga?" Both boys turned back to face the speaker. "Hi, Akane," Ryouga called out, smiling shyly. thought Ryouga as he took in her warm brown eyes and friendly expression. Her hair was still styled in the same bob cut, framing her features beautifully. Akane smiled in reply and scrambled up the roof, allowing Ranma to help her up. She squeezed between the two, clutching Ranma's hand for a moment longer than necessary. She noticed Ryouga watching her and quickly leaned away from Ranma. "So, nice night, isn't it?" Ryouga nodded. "And wasn't Kasumi's curry fishhead scrumptious? I've been learning that recipe but I just can't seem to reproduce the same dish. Maybe I didn't put enough curry powder. I mean, that is the most important ingredient, right? Curry, I mean. What's curry fishhead without the curry?" She laughed nervously, a tint of red gracing her cheeks. "Oh I don't know, maybe that brown lumpy stuff you cooked last Thursday night? Fishhead a la Akane," replied Ranma blandly. Her cheeks burned brightly, from embarrassment and anger. "See if I'll cook anything for you again, Ranma! I tried so hard to cook a meal just for you and instead you..." she trailed off as she suddenly remembered Ryouga's presence. "It's ok. I'm uh... I'm seeing Akari now." He ducked his head, wishing his bangs were long enough to conceal the redness on his cheeks. "Why that's great!" exclaimed the girl. "I'm really glad for you. Are you helping out at her grandfather's pig farm?" He nodded. "I help train the piglets. Akari says that it's never too early to train them. But enough about me, anything interesting happened recently?" "Well, Kuno still hasn't given up on Ranko yet and once, he turned up during the school holidays with five truckloads of red roses! Nabiki was all smiles the entire day, reselling those flowers at a handsome profit. In fact, Kasumi told me that Nabiki fell asleep, hugging her abacus to her chest, murmuring something like, 'A dozen roses for five thousand yen!'" "Stupid Kuno. I've transformed in front of him several times and he still doesn't get it," grumbled Ranma while the others continued laughing. The roar of distant thunder curtailed further conversation as the trio hurriedly retreated to the warm shelter of the Tendo residence. With a yawn, Ryouga entered the guest bedroom he was sharing with Ranma and his father, while the pair headed towards the kitchen for a drink. She flicked on the light switch, bathing the kitchen in a yellow glow. It seemed romantic, being here with Ranma at two a.m., the pattering sound of raindrops hitting the windowpanes helping to create an illusion that they were the only ones in the world. Humming softly, she fixed two steaming mugs of hot chocolate and handed one to Ranma. His fingers brushed past hers as he grasped the handle and took one long sip. "You knew all along that Ryouga was dating Akari, didn't you? And yet you let me make a fool of myself just now, trying not to hurt his feelings," accused the youngest Tendo daughter. Schooling his face into an expression of innocence, he rapidly denied it. "No. I'm just as surprised as you were. Honest." Akane frowned, catching the mischievous look in his blue eyes. "Ranma," she warned. He chuckled softly, aware that some members of this household were light sleepers, very light sleepers in fact. "You looked so cute, chatting about curry fishhead." He leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead. She drew back, unwilling to forgive him so easily. "So very cute," he murmured as his lips moved tantalisingly close towards her, just barely an inch away. Like a moth to a flame, she automatically leaned towards him, her lips searching his desperately. As the kiss deepened, she placed her own mug on the counter and hugged Ranma's waist tightly. The two mugs of hot chocolate sat side by side on the countertop, forgotten until morning. ********** The next few days passed quickly, in a whirl of schoolwork and martial arts training. And the nights were spent in companionable silence, stargazing on the Tendo rooftop. mused Ranma as he snuck a glance at the sleeping boy next to him. "Goodnight, friend," he whispered as he rolled on his side and closed his eyes. Inches away, the lost boy shifted slightly, a soft smile gracing his lips. ********** He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, watching as Ryouga said goodbye to everyone, including the panda. Something about the polite, formal way Ryouga bowed to the men, the grateful words he expressed to Kasumi, seemed different and out- of-place. The strange sense of foreboding only increased as the martial artist turned to speak to Akane. The farewell seemed so... final, realised Ranma. His heart raced as the boy bowed once again to Mr. Tendo, thanking him for his kind hospitality. Would he come back? What if this was just a detour on the map for him, a need to settle the past before moving on? "Goodbye Ranma." <'Goodbye', not a simple 'see you later' or a determined promise like countless others 'I'll defeat you the next time we meet'.> Startled, Ranma could only nod. Blue eyes tracked Ryouga's back as he walked towards the door, clutching a lunchbox filled with Kasumi's treats in one hand and his umbrella in another. Leaping into action, he dashed out of the house, slamming the door shut in his haste. "Wait!" he shouted as he caught up to Ryouga. "I'll walk you there," offered Ranma. "Otherwise, there's no telling when you'll reach your destination." He grinned to show that he was kidding. Relief shone in those big brown eyes, giving the Saotome boy a surge of strength and hope. "When you come back, I'll be stronger than before," he promised loudly, before realising how cocky his words sounded. "We'll see about that," was Ryouga's cryptic reply. ********** The glare of the afternoon sun was no deterrent to a particular lanky martial artist, as he walked on top of the fence with ease and fluidity that tightrope performers would be envious of. The higher altitude was like a physical demonstration of how he felt inside - jubilation and a sense of excitement wondering about the immediate future. Like a child who had eaten ice-cream and looking forward to the chocolates promised later. Feet firmly planted on the pavement, enjoying the shade cast by the occasional cherry tree, the short-haired girl, wearing the regulation sailor fuku, glanced up occasionally, eyes squinting in mild annoyance. "Can't you walk on the pavement for once?" complained Akane as she matched her boyfriend's pace, stride for stride. An hazy image of an old man wearing a red embroidered Chinese shirt shuffling along, each step forward on the fence a test of his balance and a old woman looking worriedly below flitted by like a cloud, elusive, yet memorable. He grinned at his girlfriend but continued his path on top of the fence surrounding the various houses. Certain that her cheeks had stopped burning, she stole a peek at her love, who was cartwheeling all the way to their home. "Show- off!" muttered Akane, as she started running. ********** "Ranma! Prepare to die!" "What!" He whirled around, braid whipping forward due to his sudden movement, trying to find the speaker. A muscular figure dressed in various shades of brown, carrying his ever-present backpack leaped out of a cherry tree. As the attacker struck a familiar pose, Ranma beamed and ran forward. "Ryouga! You're back! But I had only received your letter yesterday. How did you manage to reach here so fast?" A long haired girl, dressed in a simple blue dress, stepped out from her hiding place and bowed. "Good afternoon, Ranma." "Hi, Akari. So she's your secret weapon, Ryouga. Did you have much trouble getting him to walk in a straight line?" Although the question was directed at Akari, Ranma's gaze never left the lost boy. The boy growled at the barb and lunged forward. Hours later, when the glare of the sun had finally given way to the soft glow of the moon, both boys strolled into the Tendo home. Their dirty and wrinkled clothes foretold of the great battles they had fought while the smirk on Ranma's face showed who had emerged the victor. They missed dinner but Kasumi had, like always, thoughtfully kept some leftovers warm for them. Dessert was ice-cream and cokes for all except for Ranma who had developed a taste for coffee since last semester - to stay awake during class. "He's been a great help, training the piglets into becoming great sumo pigs like Katsunishiki. And the piglets have really taken to him," remarked Akari proudly. "Wow, that's wonderful." Akane glanced at the male in question, who was steadfastly stirring his glass of Coke. "In a few years, our piglets will be ready for competition. I just can't wait to see the darlings defeat all the competitors! Then, Ryouga's skill as a sumo pig trainer will be recognised," continued Akari. Ranma smirked as he realised how embarrassed Ryouga must be to hear such lavish praises. An intensely private individual such as Ryouga could probably die of embarrassment or at least suffer from a permanent blush if Akari and Akane kept on praising about him. Bored, he drifted in and out of the girls' conversation until he heard the words 'made a shirt for Ryouga...pig sewn in front'. "You made a shirt for this guy here?" he interjected, eyes sparkling with amusement. Akari blushed harder. "Yes. It has this cute picture of a pig sewn on the breastpocket. I'm pretty sure that it'll fit him but Ryouga has never worn it yet, so..." "Why don't you model it for us then, Ryouga?" requested Ranma. Cold chocolate eyes glared at his tormentor. Thinking quickly, he said the first words he uttered since this entire conversation started. "No. I didn't bring it along." Then he mentally congratulated himself for his fast response. Ten full minutes later, he walked stiffly down the stairs, dressed in his new shirt (which Akari had neatly placed inside his backpack). He had wished fervently that he would get lost before he found the guest bedroom but like always, his wish was not fulfilled. Instead, the first door he tried, was the right one. The two inch tall pink piglet sewn on the left breastpocket, while not bearing a resemblance to his own pig form, was cute enough to raise his hackles. Like a mannequin, he stood still, while the two girls oohed and aahed, forcing himself to endure their comments. he promised himself. When all the comments had died down and the girls were engrossed in another topic, he moved towards the direction of the bathroom to change back but a glance at Akari halted his action. Her expressive eyes spoke volumes, conveying her joy that he was wearing her shirt and disappointment that he hated it. But it was her silent acceptance at the fact that he would never don it again that stopped Ryouga. Touched, he smiled at his girlfriend and sat down. The answering smile on Akari's face was all the reward he ever needed. Just then, he felt a sudden splash of water soaking his shirt, plastering it onto his chest. For a moment, he panicked, fearing that it would trigger his transformation into P-chan. He stared shell-shocked at Akane, dreading the accusations that would surely come. "Oops! Sorry, Ryouga." Ranma apologised. He blinked and glanced down at his fingers, wonderful, long fingers, rather than short, tiny hoofs. "You better change out of that shirt and ask Kasumi to wash it before the coffee stain dries," advised Akane, shooting Ranma a dark look. The culprit laughed sheepishly, a hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "What were you trying to do?" shouted the lost boy as he pulled the wet material away from his body. Without waiting for an answer, he ran off in search of the bathroom. ********** He looked on sadly as Ryouga and Akari left, until he couldn't see them anymore. The sheer joy he felt over the past three days was overshadowed by a pang of melancholy at Ryouga's departure. Knowing that Ryouga couldn't stay, not when he had to help out in Akari's grandfather's farm, hadn't made Ranma stop wishing that Ryouga could stay. He sighed, missing their mock battles already. If only he could...No, he should be content. Akane was by his side and Ryouga visited every month. Still, Ranma sighed, if only Ryouga could stay, then he would have a decent opponent to face off regularly. Since Shampoo, Cologne and the rest had left, Nerima stopped being the martial artist magnet for this side of the Pacific Ocean. And without enemies popping out of the woodwork every week, taxing his skills to the fullest, how was he going to improve? Ryouga had never came so close to defeating him before, only sheer luck prevented a humiliating defeat. While he had remained in Nerima, enjoying a peaceful existence, the lost boy's skills had improved by leaps and bounds. "Maybe I should go on a training trip," mused Ranma. He had heard of a monastery in China which had some of the most skilled martial artists in the world. "I'll go with you," his girlfriend chipped in eagerly. "But it'll have to wait till the school holidays." Noticing the irritated look on his face, Akane continued, "School is important, Ranma, I wish you could understand that." Not wishing to start another argument about school, he sighed and gave in. "Fine." No sense in arguing about school's debatable merits again when they just had this discussion a week ago. It seemed to happen very often nowadays. Repetitive arguments about one issue or another, never resolved, only abandoned temporarily. And he was so very tired. Deep in his heart, he could feel Akane's exhaustion too. ********** "Where's Ranma?" asked Akane as she sat down in her customary spot. It wasn't like him to miss dinner. Kasumi paused in her task of scooping rice into the bowls. "He's with Ryouga." "Ryouga? He's back already?" asked the youngest Tendo daughter. "But where's Akari?" Kasumi frowned, the tiny expression visible only to the family members who had learned long ago how to distinguish her moods from small gestures or tones. "Ryouga came back a week ago, Akane." "Oh," she remarked, inwardly wondering why Ranma never told her about it. After dinner, Kasumi requested Akane's help in washing the dishes. Happy to oblige, Akane quickly grabbed the dirty dishes and placed them in the sink. She had barely finished soaping the first plate when Kasumi began, "Did Ranma tell you that Ryouga would be staying in Nerima for awhile?" The words sounded kind of familiar and she struggled to remember when Ranma had told her. Knowing her sister was still waiting for a reply, she hurriedly said, "No?" "Akane, one shouldn't lie," admonished Kasumi. "Maybe he did. I was busy cramming for the exams, I wasn't paying much attention to what he said." "Ranma told me that Ryouga has found a place to stay, here in Nerima. And that he suspected Ryouga and Akari have broken up." Akane gasped at this unexpected piece of news. "Ranma is helping to paint Ryouga's new room today, which is why he will be late coming home tonight. He's your boyfriend, Akane. You have to spend more time with him. Ranma never came home for dinner three times this week, and you only noticed his absence now." "I'm sorry, Kasumi." "It isn't me you have to apologise to." ********** "I'm starving," proclaimed Ranma loudly, as he placed his paintbrush back into the tin. Ryouga stopped in midst of his own painting. "I'm getting hungry too. Is Chinese takeout, ok?" Ranma grinned, the new Chinese restaurant down the street did not offer cuisine comparable to the Nekohanten but if it was free, he had no complaints. Ryouga placed his tools down and grabbed his wallet. "I'll be back soon. Don't slack off, Ranma. Finish painting the north wall." Hearing the front door slam, Ranma smiled mischievously as he pulled out an unopened paint can from the cupboard. The deep earth tones of the walls coupled with the sponging effect his friend was applying, created a very soothing feel to the room. It would look great once it was completed. Too bad it would never be finished. He chuckled evilly as he opened the can and dipped his paintbrush inside. Applying his Kachü Tenshin Amaguriken skills, he rapidly painted the room over with shocking pink paint, not even leaving out the ceiling. He scarcely had time to admire his masterpiece when Ryouga arrived, carrying two boxes of food. "What the hell?" Smiling, Ranma advanced towards the shell-shocked figure. "Lovely, isn't it? But there is one imperfection, the owner of the room isn't pink!" He immediately tossed the rest of the paint onto Ryouga, who only managed to protect his face from the attack. "Ranma," he growled, though the threatening effect was lost by the shocking pink paint dripping from his hair and clothes. The pink monster lunged at the prankster, pushing him toward the still wet walls. Ranma tripped him with a foot and Ryouga pulled his opponent down with him. The two martial artists mock wrestled on the newspaper-covered floor, sending the brown and beige paint cans spilling over their bodies. Minutes later, both had calmed down enough to realise if they did not move soon, the paint would dry on their bodies. Then it was every man for himself as they dashed towards the bathroom. Ranma would have won the race if not for a sneaky arm pulling him away from the door. Resigned to the wait, the prankster stood in front of the locked door and shouted, "Hurry up!" After a long bath, Ranma opened the door, cursing at how difficult it had been to wash paint away from his long hair. Bare-chested and towelling his long hair, Ranma sauntered into the kitchen where the other boy had been waiting for him. "Where's my dinner?" the former asked. Ryouga pulled his eyes away from the enticing figure, dressed only in a pair of his cotton trousers, his throat suddenly dry. Swallowing back his drool, he answered with a jerk of his fingers, pointing to the microwave oven. When he was certain his voice wouldn't betray him, Ryouga scolded the other martial artist. "You're going to help me paint the room AGAIN tomorrow, Ranma. And this time I'm not going to let you out of my sight." Ranma nodded his assent, hiding a good-natured grin. Somehow, being pressed into hard labour again didn't seem so bad. Not if it gave him a chance to see his friend again. ********* (Three weeks later) "Come on, Sayuri. What happened on your date yesterday?" asked Yuka, always inquisitive about other people's love lives. Sayuri blushed. "Ooh, it must have went very well," commented Akane. "Her ears have turned bright red!" Both girls laughed at their friend's discomfort. "Well?" they asked in unison. "Nothing much really. We just had dinner, then," Sayuri mumbled the next few words, "We kissed" then continued loudly, "And he sent me home." Yuka squealed in delight. "You kissed him!" Sayuri's blush deepened. "I'm meeting him again tonight. I can't wait." She sighed happily. Akane smiled. She could remember a time when she felt that same giddy feeling of happiness whenever she thought about Ranma. Awaiting his kisses and his embrace eagerly, like a junkie needing her fix. Her smile widened as the memory of their last kiss played back. When was that? Last week? No. A frown creased her forehead as she tried to remember. The week before? Too long ago. So long ago, that she couldn't remember, so long since she last felt an irresistible urge to be with him. When was she cured of her addiction to one Saotome Ranma? When? Someone was calling her name. Akane blinked and saw the concerned faces of her best friends. "Akane? Are you alright? You look terr" "I'm ok, guys," she hastily interrupted. Casting her melancholy aside, she continued cheerfully, "Come on, we better get moving, or we'll be late for class." Walking ahead, she winced, certain that they had known her cheerfulness was merely an act. Still, as the afternoon dragged on, they never mentioned it and for that Akane was grateful. ********* Mental weariness overtook her as she neared the dojo, each step increasing her malaise, until she could hardly breathe. There was no need for her to do this. No need at all to question the extent of their relationship, the depth of their love. What's wrong with remaining in limbo? However, there was something pushing her towards that door, forcing her to move forward. She slowly slid the door open and watched mutely as Ranma practised his katas. His long ebony hair, now reaching the middle of his back, was tied in his customary pig-tail, swishing back and forth with every move he made. His boyish good looks had, in the past two years, evolved to the tall, handsome man she was staring at now. Muscles straining against the tight T-shirt as he smoothly executed a series of spinning kicks and aerial jumps that she had never seen before. As he punched an imaginary opponent with tightly controlled strength, Akane imagined those arms around her, enveloping her with his heat, his spirit and his love. Arms pulling her tightly into him, hands stroking her hair softly, faint whispers of affection more poignant than a dozen red roses... "Hi, Akane. Akane? Akane!" Startled from her daydream or was it a memory, she glanced at the frowning man. "Were you daydreaming?" The rest of his questions were left unspoken as Akane hugged him painfully tight. "Hey, not so tight, ok?" Ranma placed his hands on her waist and pushed her away slightly. "What's wrong?" he asked after they had stood here locked in an embrace for awhile. Akane merely shook her head. How could she possibly describe the myriad of emotions she was feeling? She felt as if she was standing on the edge of a cliff and was about to plunge. Yet she reluctantly admitted that it had to happen. That she would willingly dive down to the depths unknown, that she felt a tiny bit of relief and joy at the prospect of discovering the treasures below. Time slowed as her soft lips met his in a gentle kiss. Only when they pulled apart, Ranma noticed Akane's eyes shining with unshed tears. His fingers tried to wipe away an errant tear but Akane had moved out of reach. "Ranma, I realised something today, something about us. Well actually, I've known about it subconsciously for awhile now. I don't know how long exactly, I've been, no we've been suppressing the truth... I'm not making much sense, am I?" She drew a deep breath and expelled it harshly. Forcing herself to remain calm, she squeezed Ranma's hand and continued. Every sentence she said, no matter how gently phrased, cut deep wounds into his heart. And as though his subconscious was perversely enjoying the agony, he was unable to stop listening for even a second. Phases like, 'We were in love, once', 'Somehow, we've drifted apart and it isn't fair to you or me if we let this drag on any longer', 'I'm sorry' replayed endlessly in his mind. And when he finally heard the words 'Let's break up', an involuntary cry of despair escaped from his lips. Akane stopped in mid-sentence and the silence began closing in on him, making the voices chanting in his head all the more louder. 'I'm sorry.' 'I still care for you, Ranma, just not...' 'I'm sorry, Ranma.' Somehow, despite the almost physical pain in his heart and despite the tumultuous feelings threatening to swallow him whole, his pride had forced him to say, "I'm glad you think so, Akane. Because I've reached the same conclusion awhile back. There's certainly no use in staying together just to make Mr. Tendo and my old man happy." He turned away as the grateful look that his ex-girlfriend (his heart ached even more at that word) cast became too much to bear. He yearned to escape from that look, from this nightmare immediately but he adopted a nonchalant tone and said, "I think I'll take a bath now before anyone complains about the stench. The dojo's yours now." "Since I'm through with the katas for today," he hurriedly added. Languidly strolling to the door, he called out, "See ya." She watched mutely as he disappeared into the house. Only then, did she fall to her knees and wept. ********** The doorbell rang continuously for two full minutes, its sound never sounded so irritating than this moment. "Hang on, I'm coming," shouted Ryouga as he kept one hand on one wall and frantically searched for the front door. He twisted open the knob and found himself in the kitchen. "As soon as I find the damn door," he mumbled. After walking up and down the confusing corridors, he was sure that he found it. Smiling, he opened the door. "Sorry to keep you waiting." The rest of his apologies died on his lips as he recognised the person standing in front of him. A familiar grin set in a boyish face. An equally familiar black pig-tail. "Ranma." "Wow. It only took you two minutes to find the door today. A miracle!" "Shut up, Ranma," replied Ryouga instantly but his words held no anger. Ranma merely smirked as he walked into the house and headed straight into the kitchen. Once there, he proceeded to open a can of beer chilled from the refrigerator. He looked at his one- time rival and gestured at his drink. Ryouga shook his head. "You know, maybe you should pray for a directional sense for your Christmas present. If you wish really, really hard, you might get it," mocked Ranma. "And maybe you should wish for good manners," countered Ryouga. "Oh, I have an abundance of that, can't you tell?" He gulped down his drink and opened another one. How he wished for some hard liqueur right now. Silence prevailed for a minute, as one stared at the cup in his hands while the other frowned. There was something in Ranma's mannerisms and tone that hinted of sadness. He wasn't sure what exactly had clued him of this fact, but he was sure of his deduction. As certain of that as the simple truth that Ranma would never voluntarily speak of his troubles. "Something's wrong," commented Ryouga. "What? You forgot to switch off your gas cooker or something?" teased Ranma but his cocky smile failed to reach his eyes. Ryouga took a single step forward and then another, staring deep into Ranma's eyes. Ranma nervously backed away, bumping his back onto the refrigerator. Never taking his gaze away from those turquoise eyes, Ryouga advanced further, stopping when there was barely an inch separating the two of them, trapping the other boy. Ranma looked away, his pride refusing to show any of his weaknesses, any ounce of pain, even to a friend. Ryouga's right hand tentatively lifted Ranma's chin and forced him to meet his gaze. "Tell me what's bothering you." The soft whisper was a command, not a request. The strange thought flitted through Ranma's mind before it was forgotten. "Tell me," insisted Ryouga. So compelling was the soft voice that Ranma spoke the truth. "We've broken up." The soft gasp that Ryouga emitted gone unnoticed as Ranma pushed him aside. He paced the floor stiffly. "I never saw it coming. I mean, one day we were happy together and the next, we're over. Now that I think of it, I guess it was bound to happen. People having been saying it for years, right? We're both two stubborn people, the relationship would never last. Hell! The fact that it lasted all of eleven months, must seem like a miracle, right Ryouga?" Ryouga shook his head but Ranma did not notice. He continued pacing the kitchen floor, "So anyway, as of this afternoon, Akane is single and available. Yes, I think admirers are going to queue in front of the house tomorrow, carrying bouquets and shouting sappy poems about her high-spiritedness and her fair face. I'll be better off without her. I'll finally be able to go on a long training trip to China. With her around as my baggage, I would never be the top-notch martial artist." "Ranma, stop," Ryouga interrupted. "What! Don't stand there like you pity me. You are like everyone else, happy that you'll get a second chance to woo Akane. Yeah, you're probably planning what to surprise her with, aren't you?" The matter-of-fact tone of Ranma's shocked the other to the core. "No," he protested. "I've stopped thinking about Akane like that since I started dating Akari. You of all people should know that." "So what if you did? You broke up with Akari months ago. And wasn't her amazing likeness to Akane the reason why you fell for her in the first place? You're just using poor Akari as a replacement and now that the original Akane is available..." Every muscle in his body tensed up as he heard Ranma's words. He pulled his right arm back, preparing to punch the idiot as he growled, "Don't you dare insult what I felt for Akari!" Ranma's eyes blazed with rage, daring the only other occupant in the house to fight. Suddenly, Ryouga relaxed. "I realise what you're doing. You're just trying to goad me into fighting with you. You're very angry right now and you wanted an outlet for the pain and rage. But you can't fight all your problems straight on. Some problems there's just no... I won't be your punching bag, Ranma. But I can be a good listener, if you'll let me." "Go to hell!" An expression resembling remorse flickered in Ranma's eyes but before Ryouga could be certain, the former had ran off. ********** "This is the place. Stop here." Ryouga paid the driver and opened the door. "Thank you. Have a nice evening." Attention fully concentrated on the small figure under the bridge that had to be Ranma, Ryouga mumbled, "Yeah" and stepped out of the cab. Wrinkling in disgust at the half-a-dozen six-packs of beer placed by Ranma's side, Ryouga kicked aside several empty cans and sat down beside the hunched figure. He watched as Ranma gulped down his beer, dropped the empty can, pulled off the tab of another can and drank this one just as hastily. "Stop staring and start drinking," commanded Ranma as he tossed a can over to Ryouga. He started to protest but thought better of it. Nursing his drink, he leaned back and peered at the waxing moon. "I rea..lly rea..lly love her. You know?" Ranma shook the can, then peered at its side, as though he could see through the aluminium. "Now I hate her, hate A..ka..ne." Standing up, he flung the can away, aiming for the stretch of trees. "No, you don't," Ryouga replied, as he grabbed an off-balanced Ranma by the shoulders. Ranma bit his lower lip as he pondered that statement through. "I vish I did." "Come on, you're drunk. Let's get you back to my place, ok?" Not waiting for a reply, Ryouga began steering him to the direction of the main road, preventing him from grabbing another drink. The taxi ride back home was uneventful, if you considered a drunken man singing love songs at the top of his lungs as commonfare. By the end of the journey, Ryouga was surprised to hear him sing a total of five songs by Speed. If Akari hadn't been such a huge fan of the four teenage girls that made up the J-pop group, Speed, Ryouga would never have recognised the songs. Thankfully, once they had entered the house, Ranma had already dozed off. Mrs. Mitsuki was already kind enough to let him stay in her home for a low monthly rent, it wouldn't do to repay such generosity by waking her up in the wee hours of the morning. Lifting Ranma over his shoulder, Ryouga peered into the darkness of the corridors. Finding his room in broad daylight was difficult enough, trying to find it now without waking anyone while saddled with Ranma made it even more difficult. Just as he was pondering over whether to head towards the right or left, the overhead light flickered on, revealing Mrs. Mitsuki. She only raised an eyebrow as she noticed his burden but made no comments. Instead she led the way to his room, then went to the kitchen to get some hot tea, fresh towels and a small basin. Tucking Ranma into his own bed, Ryouga grumbled a warning, "You better not puke on my bed or on the floor, or there'll be hell to pay." Ranma moaned and shifted towards the centre of the bed, as if to retort, "I'm not afraid of you. I'll make sure that I'll puke on your bed." Ryouga laughed at his own silliness. Interpreting a simple action like shifting in bed as a plan to sabotage his bed! He leaned forward to cover Ranma's body with the blanket, whispering the words, "Goodnight, Ranma." Watching him sleep, Ryouga felt an inexplicable sense of contentment wash over him. This was where he wanted to be, where he belonged. He lightly stroked the sleeper's ruddy cheeks, stopping only when Ranma moved again. Now, there was the matter of where he was going to sleep. He surveyed the room and eyed the floor speculatively but a sudden vision of Ranma vomiting his stomach's contents onto the said floor and onto himself, stopped Ryouga instantly. He could think of much better ways to wake up, than with the stench of vomit on his clothes. Barely smothering a yawn in time, he sprawled into the nearest chair and fell asleep. ********** Feeling the fierce glare of the mid-day sun beating down on his eyelids, he reluctantly left the realm of dreams and awoke to a pounding headache. Staggering out to the bathroom, he rinsed off the lingering taste of beer from his mouth. His reflection in the mirror stared back at him with sorrowful eyes. "Look at how pathetic you are. Drowning your sorrows in cheap beer just because some girl dumped you. Stupid! Forget about what's her name. Concentrate on martial arts." He gazed steadily at the mirror, wearing a cheerful grin that he did not feel. "Forget about her," he repeated. His reflection's smile faltered. Suddenly, the room felt stifling and he desperately need to escape. Seconds later, he found himself in the small kitchen, decorated in a simple black and white motif. "You're up," commented the other boy as he removed a Tupperware container from the refrigerator. He sighed happily as he removed the lid and transferred two huge slices of blackforest cake onto two plates. He took a bite and sighed contentedly as the sweetness of the blackberries and the bitterness of the rum registered. "What are you laughing at, Ranma?" screamed Akane in outrage. "Its your fault the kitchen is a mess!" He snickered, unable to contain the laughter, as he took in the sight of the once pristine kitchen looking like the battle ground of a major food fight and the flour-covered girl standing right in the middle of it. "Its all your fault!" reiterated the girl as she tore off the apron and scrubbed at the burnt contents inside the oven. He couldn't even fathom the logic of how Akane's typical culinary disaster was his fault but he made no move to defend himself. "Its ok. I bought a cake this afternoon." He moved to remove the blackforest cake from its hiding place behind the ice-cream containers. "I don't believe it. You thought I could never make an edible cake, so you went out and bought one instead. Never mind that I tried so hard to bake one, you never believed I could do it! Well, you can eat your cake all by yourself, I don't want it!" She shrugged off his arm and dashed into her room. After what Ranma deemed the 'Akane cooling off period' (which was about two hours for minor offences) had past, he tentatively knocked on the door. "Leave me alone!" He winced, maybe he had misjudged the length of the 'cooling off period'. Still, Saotome Ranma was no coward. He twisted open the door knob and entered, carrying a giant slice of the cake. "You must be hungry." Akane ignored him as she hugged her plush toy pig, aptly named P- chan. It looked like it was time to bring out the big guns. "I never meant it that way when I bought the cake. I didn't know you were going to bake one. And I don't care if you can cook or not. The Akane I love is uncute and a tomboy and can't cook a decent meal." "You were doing so well with the apology until the last line," commented Akane irritatedly. But she grabbed a bite of the blackforest cake anyway. He smiled as he sat down next to her, feeding her another piece. Eager for a taste, he captured her lips and fully explored the sweet taste of the blackberries. Breathing harshly as the kiss ended, with a tinge of red brightening her cheeks, she fed him a small piece, licking away the cream stuck at the corner of his lips. And then he pushed the plate aside and pulled her body closer to his, seeking out her lips desperately. "Ranma!" The shout, just bordering on panic, shook him out of his reverie. The pig-tailed boy blinked, registering the kitchen and the concerned look his friend wore. "You ok?" "Yeah, I'm fine," he lied, grinding his teeth together in an effort to block out the pain. The blackforest cake mocked him from the counter and he resisted the urge to smash his fist onto the dessert. The memory of that day still lingered, its sweetness now tinged with a bitter aftertaste. He remembered thinking that their love was like a never-ending rollercoaster ride - full of highs and lows. Two fiery teenagers falling into a relationship that was passionate and explosive - and therein lied the thrill. But despite the petty quarrels, he had never wanted to get off the rollercoaster. ********** Time doesn't stop even though hearts were breaking. Classes still had to be attended, homework still needed to be done. Thus, Ranma attended school daily, stoically ignoring all the speculative looks and rampant rumours and tried not to stare at his ex-girlfriend who sat directly to his left. But when he reached Ryouga's place, he would either start training with a fervour, blocking every conscious thought out or sitting in the rocking chair, replaying all the memories they had shared. And Ryouga would always be there, fighting him when he needed an outlet for the pain or sitting next to him when he needed companionship, knees almost touching, providing some comfort by his mere presence. "I can't forget" he whispered softly, staring fixedly at a spot on the wall. "My mind just keeps pulling up memories of her and I can't stop it! Tell me it gets better," he pleaded, turning to cast an anguished gaze at his friend. "That everything I see won't remind me of her." The haunted, desperate look in his eyes revealed everything to the lost boy. Instinctively, he pulled Ranma into an embrace, a hand running slowly through the long braid, as gentle as a mother's or a lover's touch. He closed his eyes, letting hot tears flow freely down past his cheeks, crying for the one who couldn't shed a single tear. "I never did tell you why I left Akari," remarked Ryouga after a long silence. Pulled out of self-pitying thoughts by his curiosity, Ranma glanced at his friend. "I don't know why I never told you this before. Maybe it's because you already guessed when I showed up in Nerima unannounced and alone. Renting a room in Mrs. Misuki's house." He stared at the oil painting hanging from the mantel, depicting the tranquillity and isolation of a forest. The notable absence of animals gave it a feeling of loneliness - the essence of what he was feeling at the time he painted it. It wasn't exactly a picture suitable for display in the living room but Mrs Mitsuki merely smiled and commented that the animals were merely shy and were hiding just beyond the scope of the canvas, like him. "Ryouga?" questioned Ranma. "Just remembering the past, sorry. I was going to tell you about Akari and I, wasn't I? "I don't deserve someone like Akari, so innocent and devoted. Always felt this way. Always wondered if she would wake up one day and asked why she had a directionless fool who turned into an animal when in contact with cold water. But she never did. And how did I reward her feelings for me? By running away, screaming that I don't want to live out my entire life surrounded by pigs. That I hated pigs, detested them with all of my being. "You know what she said then?" When he uttered out those cruel words, he expected tears or anger. But nothing prepared him for the look of pity etched on Akari's face. "Oh, Ryouga," she replied softly, as though trying to calm a wild creature of the forest. "You have got to face the facts. You're not going to find a cure. How many times have you and Ranma tried? How many times have you failed? It's just not meant to be. It'll be so much easier if you could just accept your other form. Pigs aren't bad, you know. They're smart and cute. Just look at Katsunishiki, if not for him, we'd never have met. I'm not asking you to embrace your pig form and to love it. I'm just begging you, for your sanity, please try to accept P-chan. You can't spend the rest of your life, fearing cold water and P- chan." "No! I can't," replied Ryouga vehemently. "This is a curse and I will find a cure!" "Ryouga," she pleaded. His look of determination never wavered. She glanced down at his soft leather boots, her birthday present to him, realising that she would never get another chance to buy him boots or sew his clothes again. When her gaze moved to meet his eyes, she wore an equally determined look. "I can't pretend to understand how you feel. But if you really want to leave the pig farm, then I can't make you stay." Her voice broke as she spoke the next line, "Nor can I go with you. This place is my heritage, my identity and I can't abandon that. I'm sorry." He shook his head. "Goodbye, Akari." "Goodbye, Hibiki Ryouga." She bowed formally and then fled back into her home. "And then I started wandering, needing a fresh start. When I saw a sign stating there were rooms for rent available here, I walked in and met Mrs Mitsuki. The rest of the story you already know." Ranma smiled wanly at him, the look of one who knew what he went through. "It's different from your situation. I was no longer in love with Akari by then. Maybe I never was. I liked her, adored her even, but love?" he added mentally. He stood up, changing the subject, "I'm going to get another soda, want one?" *********** (A month later) "That was just a lucky kick," complained Ranma as she pulled herself out from the pond. Glancing down at her wet, translucent clothes, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, scowling. Years of being ogled by the boys in school had taught her modesty while in the female form. She was about to say something caustic, when she realised that her friend's eyes were not riveted to her chest. Instead, Ryouga had positioned himself for another attack, as if Ranma had not changed form. It was one of the things she liked about the Hibiki boy. To him, both the male and female versions were the same Saotome Ranma. And being in an environment where the female Ranma was desired by all the boys in school and the male Ranma was partly hated, partly admired by all, Ranma knew this exception was special. "Have you decided to give up?" taunted Ryouga. "Me? Oh no, I'm just warming up. Kachü Tenshin Amaguriken!" he yelled as he punched his way through Ryouga's defence. Ryouga lurched back, almost tripping as his foot slipped on the wet grass. Seizing the opportunity, Ranma grabbed his arms and tossed him into the pond. "Give up yet," purred Ranma as she fished the annoyed P-chan out. It wriggled desperately trying to escape her grasp but to no avail. Finally, it settled for an angry glare. The human laughed as she walked back to their home and turned on the warm water tap. When the tub was filled almost to the brink, she tossed P-chan in and jumped in herself. ********** The clock chimed twelve yet neither boy felt like retiring to bed. Ranma smirked as he captured Ryouga's knight, and waited for the other's move. Ryouga glanced back at his roommate, seeing the contented, peaceful look on his handsome features. He had come a long way from the desolate broken creature that tried to drown his sorrows one night. And Ryouga hoped fervently that some of the happiness reflected in his expressive blue eyes was due to his presence. The next few minutes were a blur as Ryouga drank in his fill of his friend and love. He rarely dared to look at the desirable youth so openly, yet today seemed so magical, starting from the 'Good morning,' Ranma spoke inches away from his face when they had awoken, to the spar they had earlier, filled with teases and smiles, to the bath afterwards where they had alternatively dunked each other, stopping only when Mrs. Mitsuki had protested loudly about bath water seeping under the door and flowing onto the corridor. It felt so natural to be together like this with Ranma, so natural to want him. "Checkmate!" yelled Ranma as he moved to life a chesspiece away from the board. Ryouga's hand covered the other boy's as he leaned in close, staring into those deep blue eyes, seeing himself reflected in them. For a brief moment, he froze, inhaling the scent that was in part masculine and part feminine, yet wholly Ranma. He took a deep breath, wrapping that scent, that unique essence, around him like a cloak, before brushing his lips against the other boy's. But that tiny touch was not enough to appease his hunger. Like a starving person, he grabbed onto Ranma's shoulders and pulled him closer, kissing him passionately, trying to convey all his feelings, hopes and dreams into that single kiss. Lungs burning with the lack of oxygen, the budding artist reluctantly pulled away. "Ranma," he moaned as he slowly opened his eyes. Only then had he realised one crucial thing - Ranma never participated in the kiss. He shifted backwards, creating some space between them, as he mentally berated himself for acting like Kuno, forcing his affections on one who was hurt before and was still carrying the scars. "Why?" Expecting harsh words or fast punches, Ryouga was naturally taken aback by the question, asked in a flat emotionless tone. "Because... because..." With each passing minute, he could sense Ranma withdrawing further, distancing himself from his friend. In desperation, he blurted out the first words that came to him. "Because I'm your friend and I wanted to be so much more." As though a dam had broken, his words gushed out, "Because I could see your pain and I wanted to be the one who healed you. And I was egotistical enough to think that maybe if I kissed you, you'd tell me that you love me too." He turned away, preferring to examine his feet, rather than to stare at the handsome, shell-shocked man-child. "You were the only one who didn't ignore me during Junior High as I could never find my way back to the classroom without detouring to Europe or other Asian countries first. Why bother befriending someone who was only in school a third of the time? But you were different. I never had a best friend until I met you. And one day, those feelings of friendship evolved into something more. "Why else would I follow you all the way to China and back? I thought maybe you were forced to leave, that you missed me as much as I... Anyway, you know how well that journey turned out to be. So I started blaming you for my curse, while berating myself for stupidly following a crush half way around the world and back. It was an accident I understand that now, but at that time-" "You needed someone to blame," interrupted Ranma. "And it was better to blame a person whom you can beat up rather than a vague thing like fate." His harsh tone was tempered by the understanding look in his eyes. "Yeah." For several brief moments, he floated in the bitter- sweet memories of the past, of developing a crush for the gentle yet high-spirited Akane, of the many duels with Ranma and of meeting Akari. But he wrenched himself away from those memories, for they would keep, safe and intact in the deep recesses of his mind. This opportunity with Ranma, however, was a one-time deal, a chance that might vanish in the next second. "But even during those times, there was a part of me that missed the good old days in Junior High. A part of me who missed you... God, I must sound like a hypocrite, acknowledging that I hated and liked you then. I'm just not saying this right!" Growling in frustration, he ran a hand through his locks and paced the floor restlessly. "I just... I just wanted to say I want you, damnit!" His cheeks burned brightly at the admission, yet he forged on. "Maybe it started several months ago, when we grew closer. And I fell, deeper than ever, all over again. Or maybe I never truly stopped feeling that way. I just knew that it was so easy, so natural to be your best friend, so easy to trust you, that the next step seemed so right. Ranma, I love-" "Stop! I don't want to hear this. I can't deal with it right now," screamed Ranma, dreading the three little words that his best friend, no, his ex-best friend who merely wanted to crawl into his pants, had almost uttered. The young Saotome turned to glance at him once before running towards the door. Ryouga held his breath as Ranma reached the main door and turned back. Hopes began soaring, despite his best efforts not to. But the pig-tailed boy's whispered words sent him on an express route to hell. "How could you do this to me?" Scarcely registering the sound of the door being slammed shut, Ryouga crumpled onto the cold parquet floor and began to weep. ********** He ran, not caring how far, or where he was headed. Just as long as he could run away from the disturbing thoughts and myriad emotions spiralling in his head. Finally, when he could not take another step, he halted in front of a cafe. Those accusations sounded contrived and false even as he muttered them out loud. He understood his childhood friend well - the latter had no skill for deceit. In fact, that was part of his charm, aside from his fierce loyalty and sensitive nature. He blushed as he remembered the intensity of those kisses, the memory of them still made him tingle inside. "But how am I to resolve this situation?" he asked aloud. He blinked. Where did that thought come from? He never thought of Ryouga that way before, hadn't he? An hour later, Ranma was still seated at the cafe, nursing his third cup of coffee. The sarcastic inner voice remained silent. ********* 'Dear friend, I need some time to think about this. Please don't follow me. I'll come back when I have an answer. Your best friend always, Saotome Ranma.' Ryouga clutched the scrap of paper to his chest as he glanced out of the window. It had been 43 days since Ranma left and taken the better part of his soul with him. On some days, he kicked himself for making his moves too early, forcing Ranma to leave. On other days, he would take out this letter and be comforted by the fact that Ranma still treated him as a friend. But never once, had he thought of abandoning his wait. For the wait, no matter how long was worth it so long as there was a slim chance of Ranma returning back to him. An ironic smile curved his lips. "Ryouga?" The familiar voice, speaking his name hesitantly, lanced through Ryouga's thoughts, bringing him back to reality. He turned back slowly, not wanting to destroy the illusion. But the familiar face sent his spirit soaring as he resisted the urge to run forward and embrace him. Ranma removed his backpack from his shoulders and set it on the floor. He shifted from foot to foot nervously as he stood in the doorway, not daring to enter Ryouga's room. realised Ryouga as he stared at the other martial artist. "Uh, Mrs. Mitsuki let me in," he said, breaking the silence. "Oh." "Ryouga?" Ranma glanced at the apprehensive boy who had his fingers clenched into fists. He had seen the joyous look on Ryouga's face, the way he had almost ran towards him when Ryouga first realised he was back. But then, Ryouga suddenly stopped, staring at him with a mixed look of fear and shock. remarked his inner thoughts. He didn't want such a heavy responsibility. Yet his feet kept advancing slowly to the figure by the window. "Ryouga," he whispered as he invaded his friend's personal space. Terrified eyes, mixed with a little longing, met his own blue eyes. Ranma smiled. "I've come back. To you." A cry of joy escaped Ryouga's lips as he hugged Ranma tightly, sobbing in relief. The feel of Ryouga's muscled body pressed against his own felt so natural, so right, that Ranma sighed and pulled him even closer. He planted kisses along Ryouga's delicious long neck, then his face, tasting salty tears. And when their mouths finally met, expressing their desperate need for each other, Ranma was addicted. Addicted to Ryouga, heart, body and soul. Yes, that sounded just right. THE END