Have this ever happened to you ?

1. the moment you turned on the tap for a shower, the phone rings.

2. after you have lit a cigarette, the bus you have ben waiting for the past 10 minutes turns up.

3. when it was you turn to place your bet on the lottery, the terminal freezes (and your numbers came out a winner in the evening draw)

Don't worry. You have been zapped by Murphy"s Law. Everyone does. It's some unseen force around you, some universal principle at work. So what the hell is Murphy's Law. Read on pal, and see how this guy Murphy and a host of his friends govern the way we live , work and play.

EDUCATION

Handy Guide to Modern Science

Felson's Law

To steal idea from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Vile's Law for Educators

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Baker's Law of Inanimation : Inanimate objects are scientifically classified into 3 major categories - those that doesn't work, those that break down, and those that get lost.

Weber's Definition : An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Gummidge's Law :The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

Malek's Law : Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Meyer's Law : It is a simple task to make things comples but a complex task to make them simple.

Segal's Law ; A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Winger's Rule : If it sits on your desk for 25 minutes, you have just become the expert.

Bell's Theorem : When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Gerald's Law : When there are sufficient funds in the bank account, cheques take 2 weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, cheques clear overnight.

Ringwald's Law of Household Geometry : Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.

Esther's Law : The fussiest person will be the one to get the chipped coffee cup, the glass with lipstick or the hair in the food.

Snider's Law : Nothing can be done in one trip.

Smith's Law of Inertia : A body at rest tends to watch television

de Luca's Observations on Food : There are only 4 food groups : Fast, Frozen, Microwaved and Junk

Schmidt's Law : If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break.

Horner's Five-thumb Postulate : Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Johnson's First Law : When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Lowery's Law : If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.

Washlesky's Law : Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.

Willoughby's Law :When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn't work, it will.

Shit, couldn't attribute this list of crap to anybody, but just read on..

Friendly fire - isn't
Recoilless rifles - aren't
Suppressive fire - won't

If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

The quartermaster has 2 sizes : Too Large and Too Small.

There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants.

Sergeant-Major's Golden Rules for new recruits detailed for duty in the Officer's Mess :
If it moves, salute it.
If it doesn't move, sweep it up.
If it is too big to sweep up, pick it up.
If it is too big to pick up, paint it.

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Poulsen's Prophecy : If anything is used to its full potential, it will break

Mayne's Law : Nobody notices the big errors.

Cayo's Law : The only things that start on time are those that you are late for.

Edward's Time/Effort Law : Effort X Time = Constant.
A. Given a large initial time to do something, the initial sffort will be small.
B. As Time goes to zero, Effort goes to infinity.
Corollary : If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Technician's Trade Laws:
1) When in doubt, mumble.
2) If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up.
3) The attention span of a computer is as long as it's electrical cord.
4) Do not consult a manual because the people writing it do not know what is happening, 
5) Do not consult a manual  because it is written in Japanese, Korean, German or Doublespeak
6) When in doubt, bring out a test-pen. 

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics:  Things get worse under pressure.

Bugs Bunny's Law of Gravity : I know that this defies the Law of Gravity, but you see, I never study law.

 Army storeman : Did the uniform fit you ?
Soldier : The shirt is ok, but the pants are a bit loose around the armpits.             

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If this meter is malfunctioning, sorry. Murphy's Law is working