A) Discuss what has hindered your communication in the past. Think of issues
   or times when you have not communicated well and analyse what happened?

B) Make a list of all your unresolved conflicts or disagreements. Ask God
to show you one that you can work on. Pray together about these problems
and find biblical solutions.(this may take quite a lot of effort and time,
but stick to it. God will provide the breakthrough)

C) List different ways that will help improve communication from
   the following verses.
1) Eph. 4:15,25 -
2) Eph. 4:26,27 -
3) Eph. 4:29    -
4) Eph. 4:32    -
5) Prov.12:25   -
6) Prov.15:1    -
7) Prov.15:2    -
8) Prov.15:23   -
9) Prov.20:5    -
10) Prov.25:15  -

C) From the given verses, determine what are the possible communication
'circuit jammers'. (hindrances to good communication)
1) Eph. 4:25    -
2) Eph. 4:29    -
3) Eph. 4:31    -
4) Prov.11:13   -
5) Prov.12:16   -
6) Prov.12:18   -
7) Prov.17:9    -
8) Prov.18:6    -
9) Prov.26:17   -
10) Prov.29:20  -

D) 14 practical suggestions for developing and maintaining good marital
communication.

   1) When a problem arises, each must be willing to admit that he/she is
   part of the problem. (Gen 8:8-19; Prov 20:6)

   2) Each person must be willing to change. (John 5:6; Matt 5:23-26)
   (even if the other person is unwilling, start changing first and pray for
   the person for God to work in his heart)

   3) Avoid the use of emotionally charged words. "You don't really love me."
   "You always do..." "You never do anything right" "I don't care!"

   4) Be responsible for your own emotions, words, actions and reactions.
   Don't blame them on the other person. It is not true to say "You made me
   angry!" (We make the choice to be angry or stay cool) (Gal.6:5; James
   1:13-15)

   5) Refrain from having reruns on old arguments. (Eph. 4:26)

   6) Deal with one problem at a time. (principle behind Matt. 6:34)

   7) Deal in the present and not in the past. Hang a "no fishing" sign over
   the past unless it will help you to solve your present problem. (Phil
   3:12-14; Jer 31:34; Isa 43:25)

   8) Major on the positive instead of the negative (Phil 4:8)

   9) Learn to communicate in non-verbal ways (Matt 8:1,2,14,15)

  10) Express your thoughts and concerns to each other. Relate your
      activities. Listen, understand, and respond to the meaning behind what
      your spouse is saying. Example, when he flies off the handle at you, he
      may be saying, "I've had a terrible day at work. Nobody respects me."
      When he says, " You don't love me" he may be really saying "I desperately
      need some affection. I'm starved for love." (example of Jesus in John
      1:45-47; Mark 5:1-15; John 11:20-35 - perception/insight)

  11) Practice the golden rule (Matt 7:12). What would you like your mate to
      do to you? Would you like him - to tell you the truth?; to ask your
      opinion?; to help in time of need?; to be natural around you?; to thank
      you for your help or services? Well, then, do the same for him.

  12) Practice the principle laid down in Luke 6:35. "Do good - do that
  which will help others; and lend expecting and hoping for nothing in return."
  (In trusting and obeying God, miracles can still happen !)

  13) Choose a time and a place to communicate effectively. Wrong timing -
  right after he comes back from work. Wrong place - in front of the TV.

  14) Above all else, LISTEN AND PRAY. (James 1:19; 1:5)

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