These
appeared in Hong Kong newspapers:
1.
Wanted: receptionist.... must be aggressive.
2.
Wanted: assistance manager. Neither sex.
The
Securities Bulletin once sent out a letter to stockbrokers.
The
envelope was addressed to: "Mr Dealing Room"
The
letter inside started: "Dear Mr Room..."
1.
Hung Fat Brassiere
2.
Tack Kee Plastic Watch Company
3.
Lee Kee Motor Boat Service
4.
Ah Choo Medicine Shop
Hitler
Wong works for a Hong Kong lift-truck company.
Handsome
Tong works for the Grand Hyatt in Taipei. He's not just a pretty face.
LEAST CORRECT ADDRESS
Peter
Brown of Discovery Bay got a letter from an offshoot of the Prudential in
America. It was addressed to:
Seabird
Land
Discovery
Bay
Lantau
Island
Macau
Singapore
China
1.
Plastic packets of peanuts served on Air China come with the following
instructions:
Eating
method: Eat Up After Unpacking.
Clearly,
some customers had been trying to eat them without unpacking them.
2.
This sign was seen on the window of a wig shop:
Ears
Pierced While You Wait
3.
A friend of mine bought a set of instructions to knit herself a bikini.
At
the top of the page, it said: "Cups, MAKE TWO".
MOST IMPREGNABLE SECRETARY
This
conversation took place on Oct 30 1990.
Caller:
Can I speak to the managing director?
Receptionist:
Hello.
Caller:
Can I please speak to the managing director?
Receptionist:
How to spell?
Caller:
Can I PLEASE speak to the managing director?
Receptionist:
What is your name?
Caller:
Mr Smith.
Receptionist:
Mr Smith is not in.
Click.
A
German businessman decided that he did not want turkey for his Christmas dinner.
He wanted roast goose, and was told that it was available at the Hotel Furama.
Caller:
Hello? Is that the Furama?
Hotel:
Yes, can I help you?
Caller:
Do you have roast goose at your hotel?
Hotel:
What is his room number, sir?
Caller:
No, no, no, roast goose. I want to know if ROAST GOOSE is available at your
hotel.
Hotel:
I cannot put you through unless you tell me his room number, sir.
He
told us afterwards: "I should haf said he iss in ze kitchen."
A
notice in Tai Wo station informed passengers: "The toilets will be
partially suspended for use."
BEST HONG KONG ANTHEM
This
came from Stuart McLintock of Wan Chai:
All
things bright and beautiful
All
creature great and small
All
things wise and wonderful
We
like to eat them all
Each
little beast that staggers
Each
little bird that sings
We
eat their tiny bodies
We
eat their little wings
Dreaded
Veal Cutlet
Sauteed
Uterus
Bacon
and Germs
Underdone
Liver
Shrimps
in Spit
Pig
Placenta with Rice
Sweat
from the trolley
Turns
Out All Right Co. was liquidated in 1990.
This
offer was in LandPower Office Price Index:
For
Sale
Central
Shun
Tak Centre
1,350,
1,400, 2,500 sq ft
High
Floor
Full
Obstructed Seaview
A
Westerner set up a psychotherapy unit in Hong Kong. He was pleased to receive
the name cards back from the printer in just three days.
Unfortunately the cards said: "Psycho The Rapist"