7 Habits of Highly Effective People
The 7 habits of highly effective people are principles that if
one abides, will strengthen his character and make his life
better.
The first 3 habits are those that help one become independent
from dependency, and the 4th to 5th habits are those that help
one become interdependent.
Habit #1 -- "Be Proactive" :
In the most fundamental sense, habit 1 is awareness of this
space between stimulus and response - between what has happened
to us and our response towards it. Next to life itself, this
self-awareness and our freedom to choose, to direct our lives,
is our most precious gift and power.
The hard moment or test of habit 1 is to be aware of and
choose to live your own life. It is seeing yourself as the
programmer, not as a program being acted out. Regardless of the
social and psychic scars your may carry inside, regardless of
how other treat you, regardless of the disappointments and
strains and setbacks which may blindside your finest intentions,
you see the space between all of that and your freedom and power
to respond to it.
Habit #2 -- "Begin with the end in mind" :
This is the habit of vision, of purpose, of mission. It is a
sense of what your life is about and how you want to live it.It
includes the guidelines and principles you want to live by. It
is also not just your values, for values without vision are
insufficient. Yes, we all want to be good, but good for what? We
want to be good for something. What is something? What is that
vision -- not just for your whole life, but for today, this
meeting, this interaction, this hour, this moment?
For many, the test or hard moment for habit 2 comes when you
are tired and lazy -- just going with the flow. Some new project
or meeting or day begins and you simply do not do the mental,
emotional and spiritual work inside yourself to get a sense of
how you would like it to end up. This doesn't mean you decide
ALL the exact details of how you want the day or meeting to end
up. But rather you do decide what you want the SPIRIT of that
day or meeting and the quality of the relationship to end up
like. You feel deeply committed to worthy end results and yet no
action has been taken.
Habit #3 -- "Put First Things First" :
This is the habit of integrity, of discipline, of keeping that
commitment. It is the habit that draws the independent will to
literally act upon those thing which we, in habit 2, determined
are first things. The hard moments of habit 3 comes at us
constantly. Will we carry out our resolve? Will we execute? The
deeper the resolve, the easier the execution - and vice versa.
For instance, perhaps the most powerful form of minority vocal
control ever contemplated takes places when a few million taste
buds are screaming "Yes, yes!" to something you shouldn't eat,
when at the same time, billion of nonvocal cells in the rest of
the body are crying out "No, no!" This, frankly, is one of my
hardest moments.
What is your hardest moments for each of the first three
habits? They are usually always different and unique to every
person. There is great value in trying to identify them so that
you can exercise your unique endowments of self-awareness and
independent will to live by your vision and conscience. There is
also great value in recognizing the horrendous price we pay,
both personally and socially, when we are weak in the hard
moments. It's like trading dust for diamonds. Shakespeare
beautifully captured the effects of "giving in" to the pleasure
of the moment rather than subordinating it to the real joy of
contribution and growth:
What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a floth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or seeks eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet graph, who will the vine destroy?
- The Rape Of Lucrece, Lines 211-215
Habit #4 -- "Think Win Win" :
Perhaps the hardest moment and test of this habit is when we
are absolutely convinced we are right. We know exactly what
should be done, what the decision should be, what we want. It is
truely going for win-win when all you really want is your own
way -- simply winning. Or, perhaps its going for win-win when
another takes you on and opposes you, and you are so stirred up
that you want to go for win-lose. You see it as a contest of
wills; you don't want to give in. Or perhaps the hard moment is
when you are threatened by the possibility of displeasing
someone and you need their acceptance and approval so badly that
you want to go for lose-win. You capitulate and give in, rather
than combining courage and consideration.
Habit #5 -- "Seek first to understand, then to be understood" :
The hard moment of this habit comes when you are crying to be
understood. Perhaps you feel completely misunderstood. Everyone
else is having their say and you are not. Everyone else's
feelings and views are being expressed and yours aren't. Besides
that, they are off-base and you have a much better idea. You
matter, too. They should understand you. You already understand
them, but now its your turn. Besides understanding them is
irrelevent. You know you're right. There's no need to understand
that which is wrong -- or so you think.
The second hardest moment I face, and the greatest mistake I
make, usually comes from violating Habit 5. It's judging before
I understand and acting before I really understand either the
big picture or another person. Once the collective monologue
begins, you start investing more and more of your own ego into
your convictions and into your own need to be understood. The
other just isn't listening. Oh, what a hard moment that is -- to
reach deep inside and subordinate your need to be understood and
really work to get into the frame of mind and heart of the
other. It is listening empathically and having the discipline
and patience to simply hold your tongue. It's constantly
relearning the anatomy lesson that we have two ears and one
mouth and we should use them accordingly. (Only one of the three
hold closes.)
Habit #6 -- "Synergize" :
The hard moment or test of habit 6 comes when you have a
difficulty with someone and you are tempted to simply
compromise. It's taking the course of least resistance by trying
to quickly and efficiently find some middle position
satisfactory to both, even though you know in your heart it does
not optimize the situation. You know there are other unexplored
alternatives out ther, but there has not yet been enough Habit 5
to really understand the issue and the underlying needs and
concerns of the people involved. In short, the temptation is to
satisfy rather than to optimize.
The key is to press on with the spirit of Habit 4 and the
skill of Habit 5 until the spirit of synergy starts to come into
the relationship. Then you are both looking in the same
direction and searching for a third alternative whereby you not
only tolerate and accept the difference, but actually celebrate
them. You value the differing perceptions, feelings and
experiences immensely, for they enable you to create something
far better. Creating a third alternative that is felt by each
person to be superior to those originally proposed becomes one
of the most bonding experiences in relationships and in life.
Habit #7 -- "Sharpen the Saw" :
This Habit is using our unique gifts and endowments to
constantly renew ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually,
and the renew our relationships. In so doing, we counteract
entropy - the tendency of all things to eventually breakdown.
One of the most effective ways to renew is through daily
reflection and meditation. In both one's heart and mind, the
renewal spirit is stirred. The resolve the live by values and
principles is renewed and deepened. Our batteries are recharged.
The saw becomes sharper. You life becomes sharper. You are able
to do your work better, faster, wiser. You are better able to
love unconditionally, to take initiative, to be both courages
and compassionate simultaneously. You are able to sidestep
negative energy rather than give away your "space" to those
people or things that seem to control or vitimize you. When you
don't sidestep, you literally give up your freedom to choose
your response. You disempower yourself and empower other's
weaknesses to continue and mess up your life. You are not
living; you are "being lived".
Reflecting and meditating upon principles of effectiveness
which deals with all of life is as vital to our mind and soul as
food is to the body. Yesterday's meal will not satisfy today's
hunger. Each day we must eat. Each day we must reflect. If
"Sharpen the Saw" truely becomes a habit, a deeply ingrained
behaviour pattern, just as brushing one's teeth or bathing is,
and if this habit is done in the balanced, consistant, and wise
way, it will affect the quality, productivity and satisfaction
of every other hour of the day. I know of no other higher
leverage activity in life that compares with sharpening the saw
in all four dimensions -- physical, mental, spiritual and
social. Done properly, all the other six habits are exercised,
developed and used. And when we join others in sharpening the
saw, relationships are deepened and bonding truely takes place.
It moves the fulcrum over and has exponential leverage and
synergy.
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