May 26, 2000

Work life has really caught on at my side. These few days have been such busy and fulfilling. While I am well on my way to achieve my goals, this morning I suddenly lost the motivation to work. Felt pretty depressed, despite all the success I have attained. I tried to persuade myself, that I should be happy with all the milestone I have made, but in vain. So I sat down, closed my eyes, and carefully listen to my inner voice. Immediately, I realized that I needed a break. All work no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Sometimes I find it quite amazing. There are occasions when work would mean so much to me, and there are occasions when love and affection wouldn't have been more important. It's like a pendulum, swinging from one side to another. I guess this must be our ongoing struggle of striking a good balance in life.

But one thing I am really grateful about is the blessing I enjoy now, something which I had been hoping for all along. I can still remember back in my university time, whenever I craved for an opportunity to socialize with female friends, I would normally end up suppressing my urge. Last night as I flipped through my diary written back then, I realized how much I had curbed my emotion, esp. on the desire to go out with girls. This probably explains why I used to stare away, when I saw couple holding hands or hugging each other. I just couldn't stand the jealousy that came with the witness. ;)

Now, having been financially independent, I no longer restrain myself whenever I feel like hanging out with my female friends. In the past, I might be too concerned with spending my parents' money. I probably couldn't stand any remarks accusing me of being stingy, more still if it came from a girl that I admired. I guess that must be the reason behind the lack of interaction I had with girls. But things are so different after my graduation. When I get to spend my own money, it is a different ball game altogether. As a result, I am beginning to pay more attention to my inner voice. With my 'head' taking good care of my 'heart', my life is a lot happier these days.  

Last time, I used to think that leading a healthy life is as simple as working out often, taking enough rest and eating well balanced diet. Now, with a new dimension to it, I discover that emotional health (apart from mental and spiritual health) is as important as its physical counterpart.

What do you think? :)

Yours Truly,
Yin Choon