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Going through the
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Exclusivity |
Feb 04, 2001 |
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In fact, I had a date with Winnie in the afternoon. But I was in such a bad shape that I had to cancel all my appointments. Surprisingly, she volunteered to buy me lunch (as I had not the strength to even walk up to the canteen to get some food!). I hesitated, since she had to come all the way to my NTU's office to meet me. She was, after all, just my prospective lover. Nevertheless, in desperation, I kindly accepted her offer, leaving its potential damage to our relationship aside. While waiting for her, I was still going through tremendous pain. And I began to realize how important it is to have close ones around to help us in difficult moment. My own family is way back in KL. And I am so thankful that I have found Winnie, who happens to fill the gap so well. When it was about the time for her to arrive, I reluctantly left the washroom to wait for her at the nearest bus stop. The pain was terrible. All the people around must be wondering what I was doing by curling myself into such an awkward shape. I didn't have much choice. How I wish she could just arrive at the next second. It seemed to me that I was nearing the end of the world. The bus eventually came. The sight of her gave me such a big relief. As usual, my attention started to switch to her, asking her day and her studies. It just distracted me from the pain I was going through. And it had been a great time for the next seven hours, with me cycling her around the campus and chatting our way in the office. The presence of our loved ones is always such a reassuring experience. It lets us stand back on our feet, despite being shot at the knee. Had Winnie not paid me a visit yesterday, it would have been such a hellish time for me, suffering alone and swallowing loneliness all by myself. That's why I said it is very nice of you to visit your mum in the hospital everyday. I am sure she could feel the warmth every time she see you around. When you have to eventually leave her behind to attend to your personal matters, she can then live off the day by recalling the love she felt when you were around. That happened to me too. Around 9 something in the evening, right after we parted reluctantly, the pain came back to me again. But I was much stronger then to face it again. I eventually managed to get over it after a few hours of struggling. What really made my night was the simple act of remembering the great time we had been through, and the fact that she made herself available at the time I needed her most. I heard that people who are close to each other often face similar fate together. It happen that we are both going through some tough journey in life now. But for me, I have more or less recovered from my diarrhea already. Now, when I look back, I really must thank God for bringing me this torturing experience, without which I would not have found someone who cares to show me her true care at one of the weakest points in my life. It was a blessing in disguise. God has His reason to put us through difficult moments. So, I hope you don't lose heart as you face this great challenge of yours. I know it is tough. I know the nightmare would seem forever. But once it is over, you would feel a refreshed self and appreciate the great beauty of staying healthy and alive. After this incident, I can't help but to accept that life is so fragile and vulnerable. We can own the whole world, but when illness strikes, how are we going to enjoy it? It just makes me take everyday as a blessing, and all my close ones as a gift from God. Now, living a meaningful life makes more sense than ever before. ~ Signing off at 1.40 pm
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Updated: 24th June 2002 |
©Copyright 2002, Ng Yin Choon |
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