JOKES OF THE MONTH
HAVE A GOOD LAUGH !
Whilst enjoying a drink with a friend one night, Dan decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. Finally, Dan being totally spent rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, Dan begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demands the Dan. Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."
A woman takes a public bus to go to work one morning. As the bus was brimming full, she was forced to stand in the isle, squashed along with other passengers who could not find a seat. Suddenly a very attractive man gets on the bus. The woman could not help but notice him---- not only did she note his very appealing face, but also his strong,bare,muscular arms. He too could not find a seat. He too squeezed in with the others who were standing. To her greatest pleasure, the attractive man had positioned himself very very close to her. As the bus ride continued, it became steadily warmer and warmer inside the bus. The woman became conscious of her raised arm, especially since she was wearing a sleeveless blouse. So as not to become too conspicuous, she touched her raised underarm. YUCK! She had forgotten to shave her armpits and the hair had grown to enormous proportions! Not only that, it was soooo sweaty and a foul odor reeked from it. She had forgotten to put deodorant, too! Oh my God, what was she going to do???? So she decided to cover her armpit with her hand. Suddenly, the attractive man who was pressed close to her remarked, "Miss, do you have crush on me ?" Shocked the woman asked, "Goodness how can you ask me that?" The attractive man said, "Coz, you've been holding my armpit since I boarded!"
A man goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem, you see, only you've got to promise not to laugh." The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over twenty years of being a doctor, I've never laughed at a patient." "OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers. The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he says to the patient, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again." Now what seems to be the problem? " The man looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen."
A candidate brought a dice into the examination hall for MCQ. He started tossing the dice to select his answers. The superintendent just gave a glimpse at this candidate as he passed by as it is common to have students trying their luck. Very soon the candidate finished his whole paper and slept on his table. Half an hour later the candidate sat up and started tossing the dice again. The superintendent felt curious and approached the candidate. Superintendent : "Gentleman, why are you tossing the dice again since you've already finished all the questions earlier on ? " Candidate : "Sir, I have to double check my answers."
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