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Experience, though noon auctoritee Were in this world, is right ynogh for me To speke of wo that is in exams For, lordinges, sith I seven yeer was of age (Cursed be Cambridge that seem eterne on live) Exams at death's door I hath had five Or six, or seven, or ninety-three And al were killers in hir degree. But me was told, certeyn, nat longe agoon is That sith al wights else also did this And hat smoot hir exams, and nat flee That by the same ensample taughte he me That I sholde seat, and suffere in silence Herkne eek, lo, with a sharp word for the nones, Biside my table, set for myn damnacioun Had I ne repreeve from examinacioun "Thou hast yhad five monthes," quod he -- Myn conscience -- "And yet thou is noght readee? Thou must be wood!" thus seyde he certeyn. What that he mente therby, I kan nat seyn; But that I axe, why that the fifthe papre Of History hath questions so fewe in nombre? How manye koude I doon out of four? I almost stirte reeling out hir door. Upon swich uncommon questions, I must devine and glosen, up and doun, For noon I woot, so now must I lie And falsehoods wexe and multiplie; For nothing koude I wel understonde ... |
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by Daryl Sng, 1996 |
A word of explanation: this was written in 1996 by my ex-classmate Daryl Sng, after the horrendous History Paper 5 of our 'A' level exams. This paper is on European History before 1960; we choose 4 questions and write essays on them within the allotted 3 hours. Students usually prepare themselves such that they can answer at least 6-10 questions. Daryl immortalised the dismay of our class at the dearth of questions.A 2nd word of explanation: in case you haven't figured it out -- this is an alarmingly faithful parody of the opening of the Wyf of Bathe's Prologue.
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